Room for Rent.

[Aubs]

The loud sounds of an alarm going off awoke Danielle Young from her deep, peaceful slumber. Glancing over to her side table, the corners of her mouth turned upward. 8AM, perfect. Slowly lifting the blanket from over her body, she got out of her bed and preceded into her bathroom only a couple of feet away from her room. It was now time for her daily routine. As a big time perfectionist, Danielle preferred environments that were tidy and respected all five of her senses. Things that she had in place, belonged there and didn’t move unless she herself moved them and put them back in the exact place she found them in. All her food in the kitchen was labeled and color coordinated to show her the amount of calories in each. Her books were in alphabetical order by title and author name, not one single page was neither torn nor folded out of place.

I don’t see what’s the big deal about there being an issue with me wanting things to be perfect. I’ve been like this my entire life. And I literally mean my entire life. My whole Barbie collection, when I was six, was the most perfect collection ever. I used to have my parents buy me two dolls each. One, of course, had been for collecting, while the other one was for playing with. And I would have a doll for every day. I would never play with the Monday one if it was a Thursday. My cousins hated me for that, ‘cause they never had anything to play with when they’d come over, but I didn’t care. Those dolls were mine. It's not that I'm stingy.. they were just mine. They could have brought their ugly dolls over to play, if they wanted to play so bad.

Walking into the bathroom, Danielle turned the faucet to the sink and listened to the calming sound of the water splashing all about. Listening to water calmed her down from all the stress she had been feeling, with losing her job, not having a boyfriend, almost losing her place, being a complete failure.. the list went on. Opening her medicine cabinet, she reached for her crest tube of toothpaste [the one with the whitening flakes in them]. It’d been a brand new tube of paste, but when she reached and pulled it out half of the tube had been gone. Making matters even more difficult, the cap had been missing. Sighing to herself, Danielle pulled her hair back from out of her face and brushed her teeth anyway. You can’t let this get to you, she thought. The minute it gets to you, you’re going to explode and you’re better than this Dani. You’re a confident women, who is in control of her life. You decide who what gets you down and this will not be the thing. No, not them.
Living with a house full of roommates had been something entirely new for Danielle. Growing up, she’d been the only child, she hadn’t gone to many sleepovers, and she hated the presence of many people staying over in her house. In fact, she hadn’t let many of her friends stay over before the roommates, despite having enough rooms. What made her the most sick about having roommates were the times where she would find something belonging to her missing like her food, or things left in places they certainly didn’t belong. She couldn’t recall how many times she would find underwear in the living room, left on the floor in the bathroom or even worst, the kitchen.

These are some of the most inconsiderate people I have ever met in my life. Danielle thought to herself, as she finished dressing and headed into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. It’s like they don’t even care. I give them a place to stay, provided they pay for rent and they have the audacity to treat my apartment like it’s some cheap stay at motel six or something! Opening the refrigerator, she looked at what she had to drink. The choices were milk, orange juice, or water the formers being freshly bought just a day prior. Grabbing the milk, Danielle saw that it had been nearly emptied already. “That rules out cereal.” She spoke. She wasn’t going to let it get to her this time, she instead opted for the orange juice. However, upon further expectation [picking the carton up], she noticed that as well had been almost gone. That had been the last straw. Quickly thinking, she grabbed a metal spoon and a pot and ran back into where the rooms where. Beating the pans, she screamed out, “WAKE THE HELL UP, FUCKERS!” As she beat on the pan, kicked open the doors, and turning on all the lights on in the rooms she continued to scream out more and more.

“WHICH ONE OF YOU JACKASSES HAS BEEN USING ALL MY SHIT!? WAKE UP!”

I’m usually not this angry. I’m very passive usually. I’ve never in my life got into a fight with another person, I’ve always tried to be levelheaded with people. I like to think I’m a nice person. There’s hardly ever a time where me and another person get into an argument. However, ever since I let those bastards move in I’ve been screaming almost every single day! It’s like I’m dealing with children!

“I SAID WAKE THE HELL UP BITCHES! I WANT TO KNOW WHICH ONE OF YOU HAS BEEN USING MY SHIT AND REFUSNG TO REPLACE IT! THIS IS NOT A SHELTER! I DO NOT PROVIDE FOOD OR ANY OTHER THING BESIDES A FUCKING PLACE TO LIVE!”

Roomates…

“NONE OF YOU ARE DEAF, I KNOW YOU GUYS HEAR ME! WAKE THE HELL UP!” She watched, as a few people tossed in their beds, obviously ignoring her. Throwing the pot and spoon on the ground. She started to toss blankets off of people's bodies. "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN THAT ANY OF YOU ARE SLEEP! WAKE UP!"

[Weremouse]

Robyn Penick woke to the shrieking sounds of some sort of harpy. At least that's what she thought. Perhaps a raven. She groaned and looked at the mock antique clock in her room. 8:06AM. Too early. She pulled the covers over her head and fell back to sleep almost instantly.

After a two minute slumber, she awoke again to the raven harpy thing, but this time it was murdering a small cat and breaking into the kitchen. It sounded like all the pots had fallen out of the cabinets. Robyn wondered what that Danielle chick thought of the situation. She seemed like a perfectionist. Not really Robyn's type but cute nonetheless.

Robyn could hear her other roommates groaning. As she shook herself awake, moved her hair out of her eyes and got out of bed, she realized the raven was actually a human female. Danielle. She was screaming about people "using her shit" or something. Robyn didn't really know what that meant, exactly. So far all she'd used was this room, a few eggs, and about half a carton of milk. As she pulled an over sized t-shirt over her camisole and panties, she walked out into the hallway, bemusedly scratching the back of her neck.

"What are you yelling about?" she asked the hyperactive black woman curtly.

[Vale]

Surely it wasn't time to get up just yet---of course not. It was time for Danielle to start yelling. That's exactly what time it was.

Clive could usually put up with Dani's bitching. After all, compromise was part of having roommates. You had to give a little in order to get a little. That's how things went....right?

Wrong.

It was all giving with Dani, bend to her tyrannical rule, bend to her shrill of a voice, bend to her "no humpy noises late at night" bullshit. Christ, if it were up to him, Clive would dust that woman's crotch cobwebs himself. Assuming she ever gave him the time of day in that sense. But no, he was a slave to her for cooking dinners (mostly since he was the only one in the house who wouldn't burn down the apartment) and he was a slave to her Nazi-esque rules.

Alright, maybe he was being Hypercritical of his oh so gracious host, but maybe not. She was screaming like a dying hooker on a Wednesday Night on a Tuesday Morning after all.

Rolling out of bed, flashbacks of the night before were coming in waves, two women and another man were still entangled on Clive's King Sized bed, empty wine bottles littered the floor, and 3 sets of thongs were on the ground.

"Wait a minute, 3 sets?" Clive raised his eyebrow only seeing two women in his bed, and surely that 3rd pair wasn't his own.

No matter, it seemed like a fun night.

Not to be a Cunt, but when you wake up, collect your clothes then get out. You have my number if you want a repeat session. Clive left the sticky note on his mirror in his room as Dani still kept shrilling---it was amazing that the three guests didn't wake up yet.

In a dashing attempt to get his pants on, Clive nearly took a bit off the top with his zipper. Opening his door in just a pair of jeans, he rubbed his eyes.
"Goodmorning to you as well Dani." He barely spoke out as she started yelling about Milk. "Look, I don't know who drank that overproduced Breast Garbage, but here's 5 dollars. Go buy a new gallon and shut the fuck up." Clive spoke, throwing her a handful of singles as he closed the door and flopped back on his already crowded bed.


---She's such a loveable Cunt, isn't she?--the Last thoughts before Clive fell back asleep with his head nestled on the bosom of another woman.

[GnomesAteMyCake]

"Cuz aiiiiiiii found a waaaaaay, to steal the sun from the skaiiiiiiii," A loud voice sang from outside, the noise muffled by the windows of the house but still quite loud. Looooong, live that daaaaaay, yeah, that I desided to fly from the insiiiiiiiide!" the voice sang, suddenly increasing in volume as the front door banged open and a young woman with a black ponytail and wide eyes sauntered in, dressed in running clothes and an iPod blearing into her ears loud enough it was clear for people close to her to hear aswell. She was panting slightly from her jog, and a light film of sweat adorned her brow.

Racheal hooked an earphone out of her ear and cocked her head, registering the screams of her landlady. Again. She sighed as she bounded into the house, leaving a few muddy footprints by the front door. "Everyone's awake then! Excellent! What do you ugly lot want for breakfast?" she shouted cheerily, bouncing up the stairs and standing right at the end of the corridor, cocking her head as she saw Danielle with a pot and spoon looking furious and Robyn looking exhausted. All the others were either egnoring Danielle or had gone back to bed after apologising profusely for whatever the hell they'd done to her so early on in the morning.

I've been here for three weeks, and I swear to god I've never seen this woman crack a smile! A comedian like myself simply can't work around such a sourpuss! I've tried slipping her a few of my more, ahem, tasteful jokes, and I don't get so much as a titter! It's criminal. At least she's a good cook....all that black people food is pretty damn good. Still can't beat my mad cooking skills. I really should replace all the stuff I end up using.... meh, it wouldn't kill her to go and restock her own cupboards.

Racheal trotted forward and slung an arm around Dani's shoulders, leaning cockily against her. "Chill, girlfriend!" she said, clicking her fingers. "Now which one of these white-skinned devils has wronged you? Together we can fight the man!" she shouted, her face straight for two seconds before falling into peals of laughter at her own terrible joke. She looked up at Dani hopefully, only to be met with a look icy enough to fix global warming. "I uh....man, I'm a little ripe from my run. Better go shower, see ya!" she gabbled before bolting down the hall and out of Dani's reach, giggling manically. "Oh, I borrowed your toothpaste the other day, Dani; I ran out. The cap rolled under the sink, but it's not important, right? I like my eggs sunny-side up, girl!"

Some of these guys are so fun to mess with... especially that Dani...I will get her to smile one day... if she frowns anymore, it don't matter what porducts she uses, that mask of a face of hers will break beyond repair. Hmm...I could use that in my act, with a little rewording!

[Eva]

Julie Lavin hummed to herself as she ran a fine brush through her hair, determined to ignore the dramatic screaming around her. It was fairly easy to tune it all out, and for such a cheap rent, it was worth the effort. She looked into her vanity mirror and smiled. Although she hadn't showered yet, she had to say she didn't look half bad. And it's not like she was trying to impress her roommates, anyway.

Julie bounced out of her room in a bubblegum-pink shirt and denim capris, her face as always smiling. She went directly to the noise she heard, which was located in the kitchen. "What's wrong, Danielle? You're screamin' up a storm."

[Fallendire]

On the street below the apartment, Noel McLaughlin-Kurohana (say that three times fast) was ambling down the street. She made a strange sight: dressed in what was quite possibly the ugliest sweater ever beheld by human eyes, the girl was lugging several pounds of machinery, canned food, soap opera DVDs, and miscellaneous junk behind her in an old-school Radio Flyer wagon. She was a mess - her oversized sweater was slipping off her shoulder, exposing her broad, plain, decidedly unsexy bra strap, while her saggy faded jeans had slipped down enough to reveal that her very modest panties had tiny yellow roses printed on them. The day of the week was messily printed on the elastic waistband in Sharpie.

Noel sniffed and stopped in front of Danielle's apartment building, reaching up to shove her glasses further up her nose as she peered at the street number (and nearly detaching the runty white tomcat desperately clinging to her arm in the process). She checked the flier in her free hand and smiled slightly. "Yes . . . it seems this is the place, Special Menu," she sighed dreamily, addressing the cat. "Wow. It's so nice . . . I wonder why the advertised share of rent is so low." She grabbed her collar and pulled it back up, which just forced it to slip off her other shoulder, and walked forward to the security buzzer on the front of the building. "I hope she's not busy," she mused. "I forgot to call ahead . . ." The girl shrugged (ignoring the fact that the motion almost made her lose the sweater over her shoulders completely) and hit the button. "Um, hi. Is the lady who lives on the, uh, the whatever floor here? I'm here about, uh, the thing."

The doorman was used to this, and quickly switched the line up to the intercom in Danielle's apartment. As soon as it stopped buzzing, Noel was greeted by a symphony of shrieks. It sounded like a squirrel being fed into a wood chipper.

Oh my, Noel thought, her face blank as she listened. Sounds . . . homey.

[Aubs]

Danielle watched as one by one more of her roommates scattered out of their rooms. Wow, it worked! She thought, clutching onto the pot and spoon in each hand.

So let me tell you, I stole that banging the pans stuff from TV. It’s a clever trick I saw some guy do to his daughters on some sitcom, I don’t remember the name.. Anyway, it just seemed like the perfect thing to do so why wouldn’t I do it? I mean, my roommates are pretty bratty like those teen bitches on TV, aren’t they?

The first person to approach Dani had been Robyn, the roommate Danielle had labeled "Psycho Bitch" for not only her withdrawn/emo personality but for the simple fact that Dani feared that Robyn would be the first to rebel against her and cause some kind of harm to her. The fact that she had been a Satanist had scared her some as well. There had been a countless number of times where Dani would think to herself, The bitch ain’t right! Something is too sketchy for me with her! All that voodoo devil shit has got to go! Self-memo, the next time she leaves to go somewhere.. trash her stuff. as Robyn would pass her in the hallway. Luckily, Danielle hadn’t found the time to throw any of Robyn’s belongings in the garbage. She had several other roommates to worry about.

“What are you yelling about?” Robyn questioned abruptly, her hands positioned on her hips dramatically.

Danielle looked her up and down as she grimaced. Scoffing, she spoke. “Well.. I’m positive you heard me in your sleep, but I’ll repeat myself for you this one time.” Danielle brushed her hair past her shoulder with her fingertips. “Someone is using my shit and I demand to know who the hell it is and why they haven’t paid for it.”

Slowly exciting his room, Clive emerged from the long hallway into the living room where Danielle and Robyn stood. The look of his face in her opinion and the words across it had told her that he had guests in his room. He definitely had had sex the night before, which had certainly irked Dani. If she wasn’t getting any, she didn’t want any of them getting some either. It was an agreement. Well, one all of the other roommates hadn’t been informed on but nonetheless it was an agreement.
Continuing to stare at Clive, or "Pretentious Man-Whore" in Danielle’s mind, she finally rolled her eyes at the man. He spoke, talking some mumbo jumbo and tossed five dollars at her as if she had been some cheap call girlfriend of his. Scoffing, Danielle picked up the money as she was never shy to picking up money that didn’t belong to her. “You’d better hand me that money in my hand next time, asshole. Especially if you know what’s good for your wellbeing. Hope the name Lorena Bobbit make your privates tingle as you go back to slumberland with those disease infested socialites you’re sleeping with, bitch.” She smiled as he disappeared back into the hall and eventually shut the door to his room.

Glancing behind her back, she noticed as Racheal "Seinfeld-Bitch" for her lack of telling a joke Danielle thought was funny, enter the apartment from her morning jog. “Chill, girlfriend!” she spoke lightheartedly as she approached Dani and continued to talk. “Now which one of these white-skinned devils has wronged you? Together we can fight the man!”
“Was that supposed to be funny?” Danielle questioned over to Robyn and Julie, who had just appeared to out of her room.

Ignoring Dani’s comment, Racheal announced that she was going to take a shower before rushing off back into the hallway. She entered into the bathroom, but soon came right back out. “Oh, I borrowed your toothpaste the other day, Dani; I ran out. The cap rolled under the sink, but it’s not like important, right? I like my eggs sunny-side up, girl!”

Danielle’s mouth had been gaped open out of shock. “Oh my god, I have to be hearing stuff because I could have sworn this bitch did not just say what I think she said.. Did she really say that she used my toothpaste?” Dani looked over to Julie, who had confirmed her assumption with a quick nod.
Enraged, Danielle sprinted to the bathroom door and beat on it. “BITCH I KNOW YOU DID NOT TELL ME YOU’VE BEEN USING MY TOOTHPASTE! I SHOULD SERIOUSLY CUT YOU RIGHT-FUCKING-NOW! AND DON’T THINK I WON’T DO IT BECAUSE I WILL! I TOLD YOU ABOUT USING MY SHIT! DON’T-”

“Excuse me, Ms. Young? You have a woman here down in the lobby. Should I send her up?” the doorman, Thomas spoke into the intercom next to the front door.

“Shit..” she cursed, pausing at the bathroom door. “Why does this have to happen right now?” Gathering herself, Danielle sighed and walked into the living room toward the front door. Try to remain calm Dani. You hate these roommates you have now, but look at it this way, the new one could potentially be someone you like here on down the road… Who the hell am I kidding? She took a quick look to her apartment, everything had been in perfect place. Pressing her finger onto the button to the intercom, Dani used her professional voice to talk into the speaker. “Yes, send her up please! Thanks, Thomas!”

“We have another roommate coming, please show her some respect.”

[Vale]

Clive was intrigued over the notion of a new roommate coming to join their ragtag group of merry misfits, and surely the prospect of another one in which he could take to bed sounded quite appetizing.

Rolling about again after getting a ncie face full of snatch resulted in Clive finally putting pants on and keeping them on---although he still had no intention of putting a shirt on. He worked hard for the body he had, and he truly had no intention of hoarding it all for his own pleasure and not for the pleasure of the world.

"32, 32's. Sounds about right." He spoke, sliding up a pair of jeans which fit snug, however still allowed him enough room as to not be confused with girl jeans---not that he minded wearing such attire, but now wasn't the time for it. He had to look as trashy and classy as he could in a single moment for the new girl.

Appearing in the hallway, Clive caught the tail end of Danielle's bitch orgy involving every single member of the apartment which was currently in, and apparently it involved Racheal as well about toothpaste.
"Fucking cunt." Clive sighed to himself as he moved toward the dining room and flopped down, resting his head in his hands as he tried to keep his head from hitting the table.

Sure, it was one thing that these people needed jobs and money to keep themselves alive, but Not Clive Harrington. He was a trust fund kid, spoiled and well groomed. He was a man of infinite tastes and a near infinite appetite for the finer things in life. Hell, the only reason he was living with Danielle was because he needed a place this close to the HRC Headquarters, as well as that fabulous fashion outlet on the outskirts of the city. It was a win win for Clive. Well, Win Win Loss when it involved the raging cunt.

"I wonder if she's got a raging cunt? I suppose it would make sense." Clive paused, noticing Danielle angrilly trying to tidy the apartment up for the woman who was apparently on her way to inspect the place.

"Danielle," Clive paused, as he stood up and made his way toward the hyperactive black woman.

"Fancy a Shag? Could take your mind off things."

[Fallendire]

Noel was buzzed in, and she walked in, dragging her wagon after her. The doorman informed her of the floor number, and she flashed him a vague smile before retreating into the elevator.

Hopefully I'll be able to ignore my roommates most of the time. Oh, I suppose I'll have to talk to them. Occasionally. But I'd like to spend the majority of my time working on my new project . . . or perhaps catching up on season 3 of "All My Mother's Children in My Life." Apparently a main character dies halfway through.

She was still ruminating on the plot of her favorite soap opera when the elevator stopped at her destination. She emerged, Special Menu now dangling from her hip, and clattered down the hall to the apartment number listed on the flier. "Here we are . . ." She knocked on the door, her head tilted to one side as she tried (unsuccessfully) to see through the peephole.

Almost immediately, the door opened, and a pretty African American woman was beaming at her. "Hi! You must be interested in the apartment. Come on -"

Without waiting for her to finish, Noel brushed past her, nearly knocking her over with her unwieldy wagon. "Hnnn." She stopped in the middle of the foyer and looked around, pausing to readjust her offensively ugly sweater. "Yes. Very nice." She turned to the closest person, a shirtless man who was watching her with some interest, and suddenly grabbed her cat and thrust it at him. "Could you hold this for me, please? Thank you."

After perusing him for a moment, I decided he must be attractive - at least, by the usual standards. You know, in terms of facial symmetry and proportion. I decided he must be the owner's boyfriend. Nice, that it's just the two of them here. Cozy.

"Well," she said suddenly, "It looks satisfactory. I need my own room, preferably one with very good ventilation and a soundproof door." She paused, then offhandedly added, "You know. In case things get . . . out of hand. Yes?" She turned on her heel and grabbed Special Menu back from the man, then placed her hand directly on his bare chest and pushed him out of the way. "You're occupying space in a way I find inconvenient," she informed him. "Thank you." The young woman walked past him and nosed around the kitchen, taking special interest in the oven. "Hmm. If I dismantled that, I could use the heating filament . . ." She turned around again, holding the cat by the scruff of his neck, and hiked up her jeans, momentarily obscuring the little yellow roses (but the moment she released the waistband, the oversized jeans sagged right back down again.)

"Yes," she repeated. "But, ah - on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate this apartment in terms of flame-retardancy?" She gestured vaguely with the hand that was holding Special Menu, swinging the cat in a dangerous arc over her head, as she pushed up her glasses with the other. "Because, you know. I tend to have issue when things are too flammable."

[Aubs]

Danielle continued to straighten up the apartment as she awaited the arrival of the newest roommate. While she did so, she turned around and noticed Clive standing behind her, seeming to observe her every move. Agitated already from the performance she had to put on this morning, Danielle rolled her eyes at him and continued to tidy around. Please do not talk to me, please! Danielle pleaded within her mind. She certainly wanted to avoid any kind of confrontation before the newest addition came through the door. I cannot bare to argue with this bastard. The new roommate will be here any minute and I have to make a great first impression. First impressions are everything and I’ll be damned if I let this woman assume I’m some ranging cunt like all those other bitches! Danielle flipped her curly hair and smiled although her smile came off more as a scowl than anything. She just needed to keep motivating herself to do well. She definitely needed the encouragement to not become the monster she found herself being lately.

Why does it seem like I’m being made out into some type of antagonist? What have I done that’s so evil that people automatically associate my name with the words bitch or cunt, which by the way if I hear someone call me a cunt again I’m going to go Hannibal Lector on their asses! I’m serious! I’m such a nice, confident woman that it’s pretty obvious how jealous and intimidated the others are of me. And I think that’s with the people’s perception of Black women in general. It’s like we can’t be confident because we’re seen as bitchy and we can’t be powerful because then we’re seen as dictator-like. You know, I read something about this in last month’s issue of Essence Magazine and after reading it I told myself, “Don’t let them get you down. You’re an individual.” And that always makes me smile.

“Danielle,” the sound of Clive’s voice caught Danielle of guard. Turning around to face him, she gave a grimace and spoke. “What?”

“Fancy a shag? Could take your mind off of things?"

Danielle stood in her place. She said nothing out of utter dismay. It wasn’t surprising that he had said what he said, but she didn’t know how to respond without getting angry. Instead of opting for the pissed approach, Danielle walked over to Clive. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she winked. “I’ll think about it,” she spoke, lying through her teeth. Good thing she hadn’t gotten mad because no second after, the doorbell rang.

“SHE’S HERE!” Dani gushed, rushing to the door and opening it. Smiling extra hard, she glanced to the very young Asian woman on the other side of the door. “Hi, You must be interested in the apartment. Come on-” before she could finish the woman quickly entered the apartment and looked around making sure to add in small tidbit comments to herself as she observed the place. As she moved more around the apartment, she finally found herself in the kitchen. She shifted over to Danielle, questioning her about the stove. Not knowing if the woman was talking to her or not, Dani glanced at her roommates in the room with her. This woman surely was a character.
“Uh.. I’m not sure, actually. Why would you need to know that, though?”

“Because, you know. I tend to have issue when things are too flammable.”

Where the hell are these people keep coming from? I keep finding all these fools. Why can't I get at least one normal human being? All my roommates belong in the loony house. Danielle thought, still keeping a smile on her face as she looked at the girl. “Well, uhmm, that’s nice to know?” She spoke, unsure if that was the right thing to say. “Why don’t you sit down right there. WE can discuss living arrangements, rent, and a few other things. I’m Danielle, by the way. Danielle Young.”

[Eva]

Julie laid her head on Robyn's shoulder while Danielle continued her fit, and Clive made it even worse. "I hate it when mommy and daddy fight." she sighed, rubbing her eyes. Julie walked over to the cabinets and began to scan them for something. Pancake mix. That would do.

The perky blonde mixed together the ingredients as blah blah blah, more drama, and she tuned it all out because honestly, she didn't care a whole lot. In fact, Julie's interest was only piqued when a new girl came in. She stopped mixing the bowl and walked over. "Hi, I'm Julie Lavin. Are you hungry, Noel? Cause I can cook."

[GnomesAteMyCake]

"Sure you can cook. But not well," Racheal butted in, walking into the kitchen with her hair wrapped in a towel and a pale yellow fluffy robe tied around her. She smiled at the blond as she padded across to her side. Julie was the only one she'd been able to get on with since she'd moved in a few weeks ago; Julie laughed at her jokes, after all, and she was generally a nice person, unlike Danielle. Rachael shuddered, Danielles angry words from before rattling around her brain.

"Um, you'll protect me from Danielle if she decides to go all "Ghetto Bitch" on me and carve her name into my face, right Julie?" Racheal asked, sounding slightly nervous. "Whoa girl!" she suddenly giggled, grabbing the bowl as it rocked closer to the edge of the counter from Julie's over-vigarous stirring. "How about you let me take over, or at least help. Seriously, you'll get more mix on the kitchen than in everyone's bellies. Julie, you're using ready-mix again! Pancake's aren't that hard to make, I can show you how sometime if you like," Rachael rambled as she dug in the cupboards.

"I know we've got chocolate chips around here somewhere, unless Robyn stole them for a midnight sacrifice to some sugary demon-thing. Can't have breakfast without-" Rachael stopped in mid-rant, her whole body tensing. Her eyes popped from her skull, and her mouth slowly fell open.

And then she screamed. Scrambling backwards, the high-pitched squeal coming from her mouth, Rachael fell to the floor and scooted backwards till her back was against the fridge, magnets raining down on her shoulders.
"Spider!!" she screamed, pointing a shaking finger up at the cabinet. There's a fucking spider in the cupboard! I told you assholes a million times, if you see a spider then fucking kill it!!" Looking away from the cupboard, she saw a girl that she hadn't seen before. She crawled over to her and hid behind her, clinging to her leg. "New girl! Kill it! Killitkillitkillit!" She chanted, drawing her legs up to her chest, still pointing at the cupboard.

[Vale]

Clive sighed, still remaining shirtless as his equally as naked compatriots from the night before had left and shuffled out past Danielle and the rest of the housemates down the hall.

When Rachael began shouting, Clive rushed into the Kitchen.
"Danielle dinn't stab anyone did she?" He frantically looked around as Rachael was freaking out over a fucking spider. A FUCKING SPIDER!

"Jesus woman, unhinge those panties and step back." Clive spoke, walking up and crushing the spider underneath his left thumb, smearing and twisting a bit to ensure the job was thorough and complete. "You even tried cooking?! Christ, that's what people should be screaming about." He sighed as he opened the cabinets underneath the sink, revealing one of his many secret stashes of foodstuffs. "Sit down and relax, Mr. Clive is here to rescue you damsels from your famished dragons. Perhaps Eggs Benedict? Fresh Hotcakes, perhaps even some sausage?" He spoke, his voice rife with innuendo, just the way he liked it.

"well? Nothing like a nice stiff one in the morning." He smiled, pulling a fifth of some mid-shelf vodka out from underneath the sink. "Anyone?"

[Fallendire]

Noel watched the mounting hysteria with a look of vague bemusement on her face. The chatty blonde seemed fine, the beautiful but aloof raven-haired one hadn't even noticed her existance, the black one seemed on edge, the loud one was shrieking about . . .

Noel glanced down, frowning slightly. The loud one was clinging to her leg. She made a vague attempt to shake her off, the way a wet cat will half-heartedly flick its paws, then gave up and scooted over to the kitchen as the shirtless man reappeared, dragging the loud girl along. "Hmm. You didn't have to kill it'" she remarked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. She regarded the brown smear that used to be the spider, then shrugged and set Special Menu on the counter. The tomcat immediately began to lick experimentally at the quivering remains of the arachnid.

"I like popcorn," Noel dreamily informed no one in particular. "And crème brûlée." She slipped past the blonde and the silent girl, leaning over to examine the oven again. "And conductive metals." She suddenly popped up again, glancing around at everyone present with a dazed look on her face. "By the way - do any of you have type O blood? I could certainly use some for my next embarkment . . ."

[Vale]

Clive raised his eyebrow to Noel, then slowly gazed over to Danielle, giving a classic, You can't honestly be serious about having this fucking nutjob live with us Face. Apparently, in the interest in fairness and paying the bills, Danielle had neglected to mention that the newest addition was going to be a twit with a brit up her britches.
"No, I've got AB...."He slowly spoke to the woman as she kept inspecting the oven.

It was a moderately new oven, one of those self starting-click for a light, stovetops. Definitely worth the money thrown in it, but not a penny more sort of deal.

"Uhm, Miss...do you mind stepping back from the oven?" Clive spoke, slowly making his way towards it, balancing a mixing bowl, flour, sugar, cinnamon, and other such materials on his hands, wrist, and even his forearm.

Danielle, please get this child out of my kitchen.....

The only thoughts going through his head. Hopefully the boisterous ebony woman had developed telepathy for that single moment...else Clive might just, uh....burn Noel's pancakes. Well, that wouldn't do....she probably liked them burnt anyway....