Whatever, Lion King!

[Bryden]

Because it is totally cool to like old Disney as a teen, and we're all epic anyhow... and inspired by Kaeoke night... I present to you:

WHATEVER, LION KING!


The Cast


Alli [Banzi] : Most quick-tempered of the Hyenas. Best with
comebacks. Offsets Gina and Bri quite well.

Bri [Ed]: The stupidest Hyena. Has a Bill the Cat stare.
Noted by warts on the tongue. Too stupid or slow to lie at the
right time.

Eva [Mufasa]: Current HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE of the Pride Lands. Well-built lion. Thick mane.
Brown eyes. Biiig kitty. Father of Kyle. Elder brother of Kath.

Bryden [Nala]: Friend and companion of Kyle. She can pin Kyle in a fight. As
an adult she and Kyle fall in love, prolonging a tradition they
had refused as cubs.

Gafe [Pumba] : A well-padded warthog and friend of Jaya. A
little slow, but when he catches on, it's surprising what he
can do. Has a flatulence problem.

Travis [Rafiki] : A mandrill whose role is of a mystical shaman.
Outwardly he appears to be crazy, but in reality he is very wise.

Aubrey [Sarabi]] : Mother of Kyle. Wife of Eva. Leader of the
lionesses.

Kath [Scar]: Younger brother of Eva. Uncle of Kyle. Well-chiseled,
bony features. Flat black matted mane. Aspires to be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE of
Pride Rock by deceit, due to his thin size and weak stature.
His claws are always partly extended. Has a vertical Kath across
his right eye that presumably accounts for his name.

Gina [Shenzi] : Female of the Hyena trio. Major attitude. Probably
the smartest and deals the best with Kath. Most even temper.

Kyle [Simba] : The cub of Eva. Soon to be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE of Pride Rock.
Initially a cub, later an adult. Brown eyes. As an adult, he's
not as well-built as his father was, presumably from growing up
on a diet of insects... Friend of Gafe and Jaya.

Jaya [Timon]: An outcast meerkat; a friend of Gafe. Very self-reliant,
quite a fast talker (like a used car salesman). Stands about 6" tall.

Ace [Zazu]: The HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE's loyal servant. A hornbill, which is a large-beaked bird.

And now... grab you popcorn... cuz here we go!

[Bryden]

The Script...



{Open, black screen}

{Start nature sound effects}

{Cue Castle screen}

{Fade to black}

{Cue lion roar in the background, calling the animals to gather
to Pride Rock for the Ceremony.}




{Sunrise on African grassland (lightly treed), in time with
opening chant to The Circle of Life}

FS: From the day we arrive on the planet
And, blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done

{Camera is panning and jumping to elephants, zebras, ants,
birds, storks, etc... }

There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

{When the "The Circle of Life" is mentioned the long-
distance pan centers on Pride Rock where all the animals
are gathering. Eva is on Pride Rock. Long camera arc to
Eva and Ace.}

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all

{Ace bows to Eva, who smiles and nods at him}

Through despair and hope
Through faith and love

{Appearance of Travis, the drunken master- uh, I mean mandrill. He passes between
ranks of animals, who bow to him; he then climbs Pride Rock
to where Eva is standing.}

Till we find our place
On the path unwinding

{Travis and Eva embrace.}

In the Circle
The Circle of Life

{Decrescendo in BS. FS drops out. Pan Flute takes simple
lead.}

{Eva leads Travis over to Aubrey, who is holding Kyle}

{Travis puts the juice and sand he collects on Kyle's
brow-- a ceremonial crown. He then picks Kyle up and
ascends to the point of Pride Rock. Eva and Aubrey
follow. With a crescendo in the music and a restatement of
the refrain, Travis holds Kyle up for the crowd to view.}

It's The Circle of Life

{The crowd starts howling, stamping, etc... }

And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love

{The clouds part and a sunbeam highlights Travis and Kyle
on Pride Rock.}

Till we find our place

{The crowd bows down, one by one.}

On the path unwinding

{Camera slowly zooms out to a striking panoramic view
of the Presentation.}

In the Circle
The Circle of Life

{ switch to black screen
with title "The Lion HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE" in blood-red caps.}


{Cue mouse sounds}

{Visual fade into mouse in cave}

{Mouse named Grimn comes out and starts preening in the light. Begins
sniffing. Becomes frightened. Suddenly a large lion paw
swoops down and catches him.}

{Kath is holding the squeaking and
struggling mouse in his paw. He talks to it while playing
with it}

Kath: Life's not fair, is it? You see I -- well, I... shall
never be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE. {exhale lightly} And you... shall never
see the light of another day. {closed-mouth laughter.
Starts to places mouse on his extended tongue} ...
Adieu... {quiet laugh}

Grimn: SQUEK! SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK!! {Translation: Holy crap I’m gonna die!!!!!!}

Ace : {Interrupting} Didn't your mother ever tell you not
to play with your food?

Kath: {Light sigh. Grimn is under his paw.} What do you want?

Ace: I'm here to announce that HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE Eva is on his way. {bows}
...So you'd better have a good excuse for missing the
ceremony this morning.

{The mouse runs away from Kath}

Kath: Oh now look, Ace; you've made me lose my lunch.

Ace: Hah! You'll lose more than that when the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE gets
through with you. He's as mad as a hippo with a hernia.

Kath: Oooh... I quiver with FEAR.

{On "FEAR" Kath crouches down and is baring his teeth at
Ace.}

Ace: {Very concerned} Now Kath, don't look at me that
way... HELP!

{Kath quickly pounces on the bird, catching him in his mouth.}

Eva: {Almost immediately and off-camera} Kath! ...

Kath: {Mouth full} Mm-hmm?

Eva: Drop him.

Ace: {Speaking from Kath's mouth} Impeccable timing, your
majesty.

{Kath spits the bird out, covered with saliva}

Ace: {Slimed} Eyyccch.

Kath: {Sarcastically overjoyed} Why! If it isn't my big
brother descending from on high to mingle with the
commoners.

Eva: Aubrey and I didn't see you at the presentation of
Kyle.

Kath: {Faking astonishment} That was today? Oh, I feel
simply awful.

{He turns and starts scraping his claws on the rock wall.
Ace cringes at the sound.}

Kath: {Admiring his claws} ...Must have slipped my mind.

Ace: Yes, well, as slippery as your mind is, as the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE's
brother, you should have been first in line!

{Kath clicks his teeth at Ace, who has flown near his
face. Ace takes cover behind Eva's foreleg. Kath bends
down to speak to him.}

Kath: Well, I was first in line... until the little hairball
was born.

Eva: {Lowering his head and meeting Kath eye to eye}
That "hairball" is my son... and your future HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

Kath: Ohh, I shall practice my curtsy.

{Kath turns away and starts to exit}

Eva: {Warning} Don't turn your back on me, Kath.

Kath: {looking back} On, no, Eva. Perhaps YOU shouldn't
turn YOUR back on me.

Eva: {Roars and literally jumps in front of Kath, baring
his teeth for the first time} Is that a challenge?

Kath: Temper, temper. I wouldn't dream of challenging you.

Ace: Pity! Why not?

Kath: {Looking at Ace} Well, as far as brains go, I got
the lion's share. But, when it comes to brute strength
{looking at Eva} ...I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end
of the gene pool.

{Exit Kath}

Ace: {Deep sigh} There's one in every family, sire... Two
in mine, actually. {perches on Eva's shoulder} And
they always manage to ruin special occasions.

Eva: What am I going to do with him?

Ace: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.

Eva: {Chiding} Ace!

Ace: And just think! Whenever he gets dirty, you could
take him out and BEAT him.

{They exit, chuckling. Pan out into open savannah.}

{We see a rainstorm gently crossing the savannah.
Multiplane camera approach to Travis's baobab tree. Camera
switch to inside the tree. Travis is doing hand paintings on
the wall. We see he is completing a lion cub. He has about as much artistic prowess as Namine, that is to say, crayon scribbles. What? A fangirl can think she’s lame, too!}

Travis: {Mutters to himself, in which the word "Kyle" can be
heard} Hmmm... Ah heh heh heh heh heh... {completing the
ceremonial crown in the painting} Kyle.

{ Fade to black keeping the painting of the cub
as a crossover to the fade in of Pride Rock in early
morning}


{Kyle is seen coming out on the rock. He runs back into
the cave and leaps over several of the lionesses, accidentally
jumping on a few.}

Kyle: Dad! Daad! Come on, Dad, we gotta go. Wake up!

Random Lioness: Oomph!

Kyle: Sorry! ...Oop.

{Kyle starts to wake Eva}

Kyle: Dad? Daad. Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad--

Aubrey: {Over Kyle's endless noise of "Dad"s, sleepily}
Your son... is awake...

Eva: {Also sleepily} Before sunrise, he's YOUR son.

Kyle: Dad? Daad! Come on, Dad! {tugs at Eva's ear.} Daa-- Whoa!

{He loses his grip on Eva's ear, and slips and crashes into
something off camera. He then comes running back on screen and
butts Eva. Eva sleepily eyes his son.}

Kyle: You promised!

Eva: {Seeing his son's impatience} Okay, okay. I'm up.
I'm up.

Kyle: Yeah!

{Eva yawns a well-recorded lion yawn. Her breath is terrible, if you want to know. Eva and Aubrey follow Kyle up to the top of Pride Rock. Kyle rubs up against Aubrey; she nudges him ahead and stays behind. Departing shot of her, with a loving expression. The sunrise illuminates the top of Pride Rock impressively. Both Kyle and Eva are on the point. Cue music.}

Eva: Look, Kyle. Everything the light touches is our
HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE-doom.

Kyle: Wow.

Eva: A HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE's time as ruler rises and falls like the
sun. One day, Kyle, the sun will set on my time here,
and will rise with you as the new HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

Kyle: And this will all be mine?

Eva: Everything.

Kyle: Everything the light touches. {Kyle looks all
around. He views the rip-rap canyon to the north} What
about that shadowy place?

Eva: That's beyond our borders. You must never go there,
Kyle.

Kyle: But I thought a HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE can do whatever he wants.

Eva: Oh, there's more to being HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE than... getting your
way all the time.

{Eva starts back down the rock}

Kyle: {Awed} There's more?

Eva: {Chuckles} Kyle...

{They walk down the path and along to the grass}

Eva: Everything you see exists together, in a delicate
balance. As HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE, you need to understand that balance,
and respect all the creatures-- from the crawling ant
to the leaping antelope.

Kyle: But, Dad, don't we eat the antelope?

Eva: Yes, Kyle, but let me explain. When we die, our
bodies become the grass. And the antelope eat the
grass. And so we are all connected in the great Circle
of Life.

{Ladies and gents, lets have a warm round of applause for skipping science class on decomposition day!}

Ace: {Lights on a nearby rock} Good morning, sire!

Eva: Good morning, Ace.

Ace: Checking in... with the morning report.

Eva: Fire away.

Ace: Well! The buzz from the bees is that the leopards
are in a bit of a spot...

{Ace's speech will continue through without stop, but then, doesn’t it always? Kyle's
and Eva's conversation is the focus.}

Eva: {Distracted} Oh, really?

{Kyle, uninterested in Ace, pounces at a grasshopper and
misses}

Ace: {Continuing, not noticing Eva's lack of
enthusiasm} ... And the baboons are going ape over
this. Of course, the giraffes are acting like they're
above it all...

Eva: {To Kyle} What are you doing, son?

Kyle: {Disappointedly looking in his empty paws} Pouncing.

Eva: Let an old pro show you how it's done.

Ace: ...The tickbirds are pecking on the elephants. I
told the elephants to forget it, but they can't...

Eva: Ace, would you turn around?

Ace: Yes, sire. {Continuing immediately} The cheetahs are
hard up, but I always say ...

Eva: {Whispering} Stay low to the ground.

Ace: Cheetahs never prosper...

Kyle: {Whispering} Okay, stay low to the ground, right... yeah...

Ace: {Realizing something is amiss} What going on?

Eva: A pouncing lesson.

Ace: Oh very good. Pouncing. {Realizing} Pouncing!?!
Oh no, sire, you can't be serous...

{Eva motions for Ace to turn back around.}

Ace: Oh... this is so humiliating.

Eva: {Still whispering} Try not to make a sound.

Ace: What are you telling him, Eva? {Looking around
uneasily-- Kyle and Eva seem to have disappeared.}
Eva? Kyle?

{Kyle does a full pounce leaving Ace stunned on the
ground}

Eva: Ha ha ha ha ha. That's very good. Ha ha ha...

{A gopher emerges under Ace. Why it’s our old pal Yugi! Because, um, who did you expect to be captain of soliders?}

Yugi: Ace!

Ace: {Exasperated} Yes?

Yugi: {Saluting} Sir. News from the underground.

Eva: {To Kyle} Now, this time--

Ace: {Interrupting and with urgency} Sire! Hyenas! In
the Pride Lands!

Eva: {Serous now} Ace, take Kyle home.

Kyle: Oh, Dad, can't I come?

Eva: {Curtly} No, son.

{Eva heads off at a full gallop}

Kyle: I never get to go anywhere.

Ace: Oh, young master, one day you will be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE; then you
can chase those slobbering mangy stupid poachers from
dawn until dusk.

{They head off. Camera pulls back to wide view of
savannah.}

[Kath Tricks Kyle now, because she’s a bigger bitch then the HBIC and damn, who could trick a fucking lion cub but a royal bitch?]

{Change over to Kath on his overhanging rock ledge.
We see Kath pace once and kick an old bone off the Bridge.}

{Enter Kyle}

Kyle: Hey Uncle Kath! Guess what!

Kath: I despise guessing games.

Kyle: I'm going to be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE of Pride Rock.

Kath: {Sarcastically} Oh goody.

Kyle: {Looking out over the Bridge of the rock} My dad just
showed me the whole HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE-dom; {greedily} and I'm going
to rule it all. Heh heh.

Kath: Yes. Well... forgive me for not leaping for joy.
Bad back, you know.

{Kath flops down on his side.}

Kyle: Hey, Uncle Kath? When I'm HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE, what will that make
you?

Kath: A monkey's uncle.

Kyle: Heh heh. You're so weird.

Kath: You have NO idea. ...So, your father showed you the
whole HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE-dom, did he?

Kyle: Everything.

Kath: He didn't show you what's beyond that rise at the
northern border...?

Kyle: {Disappointed} Well, no... he said I can't go there.

Kath: And he's absolutely right. It's far too dangerous.
Only the bravest lions go there.

Kyle: Well, I'm brave! What's out the--

Kath: {Interrupting} No, I'm sorry, Kyle, I just can't
tell you.

Kyle: Why not?

Kath: Kyle, Kyle, I'm only looking out for the well-
being of my favorite nephew.

{Kath rubs and pats Kyle's head}

Kyle: {Snorts sarcastically} Yeah, right, I'm your only nephew.

Kath: All the more reason for me to be protective... An
elephant graveyard is no place for a young prince...
{fake surprise} Oops! << >>

Kyle: {Enthusiastic} An elephant what? Whoa.

Kath: {Faking} Oh dear, I've said too much... Well, I
suppose you'd have found sooner or later, you being SO
clever and all... {pulling Kyle near} Oh, just do me
one favor-- promise me you'll never visit that dreadful
place.

Kyle: {Thinks} No problem.

Kath: There's a good lad. You run along now and have
fun. And remember... it's our little secret.

{Kyle leaves the rock, Kath walks away with an evil smile.
Menacing music.}



{Kyle is running down the slope of the bottom part of
Pride Rock. He runs down towards two lionesses (Aubrey
and Grace). Grace is giving Bryden a bath.}

Kyle: Hey, Bryden.

Bryden: Hi, Kyle.

Kyle: Come on. I just heard about this great place.

Bryden: {Through clenched teeth} Kyle! I'm kind of in the
middle of a bath.

Aubrey: And it's time for yours.

{Kyle tries (too late) to escape; Aubrey bends
down and grabs him. She proceeds to give the struggling
cub a bath.}

Kyle: Mom! ...Mom. You're messing up my mane.

{Aubrey smiles… because this scene doesn’t get lost in the to-text translation AT ALL}

Kyle: Okay, okay, I'm clean. Can we go now?

Bryden: So where are we going? It better not be anyplace
dumb.

Kyle: No. It's really cool.

Aubrey: So where is this "really cool" place?

Kyle: Oh. {thinks} Uh... around the water hole.

Bryden: The water hole? What's so great about the water
hole?

Kyle: {Whisper} I'll SHOW you when we GET there.

Bryden: {Whisper} Oh. {Normal} Uh... Mom, can I go with
Kyle?

Sarafina: Hmm... What do you think, Aubrey?

Aubrey: Well...

Bryden and Kyle: {through broad, forced grins} Pleeeease?

Aubrey: It's all right with me...

{Aubrey and Kyle are overjoyed}
Bryden: All right!
Kyle: Yeah!

Aubrey: ...As long as Ace goes with you.

{Kyle and Bryden stop dead in their celebration}

Kyle: No. Not Ace. PLEASE not Ace!!

{Small skip up… The cubs walk along. Ace is visible in the sky
overhead. Whopee.}

Ace: Step lively. The sooner we get to the water hole,
the sooner we can leave.

Bryden: {Whisper} So where we really going?

Kyle: {Whisper} An elephant graveyard.

Bryden: WOW!!

Kyle: {Whisper} Shhh! Ace.

Bryden: {Whisper} Right. So how are we gonna ditch the dodo?

{Ace is flying along cluelessly}

Bryden: {Whispering} Oh, I know how we can--

Ace: {Flying down} Oh, just look at you two. Little seeds
of romance blossoming in the savannah. Your parents
will be thrilled... {He lands in front of them} ...what
with your being betrothed and all.

Kyle: Be-what?

Ace: Betrothed. Intended. Affianced.

Bryden: Meaning...?

Ace: {As though holding on to his coat lapels} One day,
you two are going to be married!

Kyle: Yuck!

Bryden: Ewww.

Kyle: I can't marry her. She's my friend.

Bryden: Yeah. It'd be so weird.

Ace: Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but you two turtle-
doves have no choice. It's a tradition...

{Kyle mimics Ace during these last words}

Ace: ...going back generations.

Kyle: Well, when I'm HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE, that'll be the first thing to go.

Ace: Not so long as I'm around.

{Start fading in intro to "I Just Can't Wait to Be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE"}

Kyle: Well, in that case, you're fired.

Ace: Hmmm... Nice try, but only the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE can do that. {Pokes
Kyle's nose}

Bryden: Well, he's the future HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

Kyle: Yeah. {Thumping Ace's chest} So you have to do
what I tell you.

Ace: Not yet I don't. And with an attitude like that, I'm
afraid you're shaping up to be a pretty pathetic HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE
indeed.

Kyle: Hmph. Not the way I see it.

{Full song, colors change to wild pop-African. Background
abruptly becomes surreal, Brightly colored cartoon style. Ohh, Acid trip time!}



{The Chorus of hippos, anteaters, antelopes, giraffes, etc.
forms a pyramid with the cubs on top}

Kyle & Chorus: Oh I just can't wait to be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE!
Oh I just can't wait to be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE!
Oh I just can't waaaaaait ... to be HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE!

{The pyramid topples leaving the rhino sitting on Ace}

Ace: {Muffled} I beg your pardon, madam, but... GET OFF! ...
Kyle? Bryden?

[Elephant Graveyard - Hyena Scene]

{Camera change to Kyle and Bryden making their way away
from Ace. They are laughing.}

Kyle: All right, it worked!

Bryden: We lost 'im.

Kyle: {Arrogantly} I... am a genius.

Bryden: Hey, Genius, it was my idea.

Kyle: Yeah, but I pulled it off.

Bryden: With me!

Kyle: Oh yeah? ...Rrarr!

{Kyle jumps at Bryden; they tussle quickly. Bryden ends on
top and pins Kyle with her forepaws, producing a
resounding thump.}

Bryden: Ha. Pinned ya’.

Kyle: {Annoyed} Hey, lemme up.

{Bryden turns away smiling. Kyle looks at her and jumps at her
again. They tussle, rolling down a short hill. She pins him
again in the same position with another thump.}

Bryden: Pinnedjagin.

{A geyser makes a loud noise nearby, ejecting steam.
we see a dark craggy vale filled with skeletons of elephants. Eriee
music.}

Kyle: This is it. We made it.

{They look over the Bridge of the ledge they are on. A large
bull elephant skull is nearby.}

Kyle and Bryden: Whoa!

Bryden: It's really creepy.

Kyle: Yeah... Isn't it great?

Bryden: {Relishing her naughtiness} We could get in big
trouble.

Kyle: {Enjoying it also} I know, huh.

Bryden: {looking at the skull} I wonder if its brains are
still in there.

Kyle: {walking towards the skull} There's only one way to
know. Come on. Let's go check it out.

{Kyle walks towards the mouth of the skull. Ace flaps
suddenly up in front of them, emitting a sharp squawk of
"Wrong!" and giving the audience a start.}

Ace: The only checking out you will do will be to check
out of here.

Kyle: Aw, man.

Ace: We're way beyond the boundary of the Pride Lands.

Kyle: Huh. Look. Banana Beak is scared. Heh.

Ace: {poking Kyle in the nose} That's Mr. Banana Beak to you,
fuzzy. And right now we are all in very real danger.

{Kyle has moved nearer to the entrance of the skull}

Kyle: Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in
the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha!

{Following Kyle's confident laughter we hear more
laughing from inside the skull. Kyle runs back and hides
behind Bryden and Ace. Three hyenas emerge from the skulls
eyes and mouth.}

Gina: Well, well, well, Alli. What have we got here?

Alli: Hmm. I don't know, Gina. Uh... what do you think,
Bri?

Bri: {Crazy laughter}

{They circle around the cubs and Ace.}

Alli: Yeah, just what I was thinking. A trio of
trespassers!

Ace: And quite by accident, let me assure you. A simple
navigational error. Eh heh heh...

Gina: Whoa, whoa, wait wait wait... I know you. You're Eva's little stooge.

Ace: I, madam, am the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE's majordomo.

Alli: {Looking at Kyle} And that would make you...?

Kyle: The future HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

Gina: Do you know what we do to HEAD BITCH IN CHARGEs who step out of their HEAD BITCH IN CHARGEdom?

Kyle: Puh. You can't do anything me.

Ace: Uhh... technically, they can. We are on their land.

Kyle: But Ace, you told me they're nothing but slobbering mangy stupid poachers.

Ace: {Aside, surreptitiously, to Kyle} Ix-nay on the oopid-stay...

Alli: Who you callin' "oopid-stay?!?"

Ace: {Harried} My, my, my. Look at the sun. {starts to
try to hasten the cubs away} It's time to go!

Gina: What's the hurry? We'd looove you to stick around dinner.

Alli: Yeaaaah! We could have whatever's... "lion" around! {In the background} Get it? Lion around! {laughs}

Gina: Oh wait, wait, wait. I got one, I got one. Make
mine a "cub" sandwich. Whatcha think?

{Peals of uncontrollable laughter. Bri jumps up and starts
gesticulating and jabbing.}

Gina: What? Bri? What is it?

Alli: {Looking where Bri is pointing} Hey, did we order this dinner to go?

Gina: No. Why?

Alli: 'Cause there it goes!

{Camera view to the cubs running off; they stop after a
bit. Quick camera jump showing Ace being caught in
mid-flight.}

Bryden: Did we lose 'em?

Kyle: I think so. Where's Ace?

{Camera switch. The hyenas have Ace near a steam vent.
Alli is holding the bird.}

Alli: The little majordomo bird hip hipidy-hopped all the way to the birdie-boiler. {He walks Ace to the vent
and stuffs him into it, plugging it up.}

Ace: Oh no. Not the birdie-boiler. {It shoots him off in
a puff of steam}

{The hyenas start laughing hysterically}

Kyle: {Now near the hyenas} Hey! Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?

Gina: Like... you?

Kyle: Oops.

{The hyenas start chasing the cubs. They dart around behind
them and poke their heads through an active methane vent.}

Gina, Alli, Bri: BOO! {laughter}

{The hyenas chase the cubs up and over the skull and the cubs
slip away by sliding down the spine. They shoot off the end of the
spine and land on a hillside of bones.}

Bryden: Kyle!

{Kyle turns around and is horrified to see Bryden slipping back down
the pile.}

Bryden: Aaaaiee!

{Kyle runs bravely back and claws Gina across the cheek, drawing blood and distracting her while Bryden escapes. Gina becomes enraged;
the Hyenas pursue the cubs quickly and corner them in a cave.}

Gina: Look, boys! A HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE fit for a meal!

Alli: {Entering the cave, taunting} Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

{Kyle tries to roar. He produces a nice medium yowl.}

Gina: Oo-hoo... that was it? Hah. Do it again... come on.

{Kyle opens his mouth to roar again, but we hear a full-
grown lion roar.}

Gina, Alli, Bri: Huh?!

{Eva charges the hyenas from camera left and knocks them about
until they are cringing under him.}

Gina: Oh, please, please. Uncle. Uncle.
Alli: Ow. Ow. Ow.

Eva: {Half roar} Silence!

Alli: Oh, we're gonna shut up right now.

Gina: Calm down. We're really sorry.

Eva: If you ever come near my son again...

Gina: Oh this is... this is your son?!?

Alli: Oh, your son?

Gina: Did you know that?

Alli: No... me? I-I-I didn't know it. No. Did you?

Gina: No! Of course not.

Alli: No.

Gina and Alli: Bri?

Bri: {Stupidly nods yes}

{Eva roars}

Alli: Toodles!

{With a gunshot sound they disappear. Ace lights in front of Eva, giving him a "that'll show 'em" nod... but then withers under Eva's angry glare.}

Kyle: {Approaching his father} Dad, I...

Eva: You deliberately disobeyed me.

Kyle: Dad, I'm... I'm sorry.

Eva: {Stern} Let's go home.

{They all start walking out of the Burial Grounds, the
cubs bent down in shame.}

Bryden: {Whispering} I thought you were very brave.

{The camera steadily pans up one of the walls of the cave.
It stops on a horrifying image of Kath, sitting on a ledge
where he had been watching the cubs' near-demise.}

[Disciplinary - Stars Scene]

{Camera switch to out on the savannah. The cubs are still
walking in a shamed manner behind Eva. Ace is flying
between.}

Eva: {Still stern} Ace?

Ace: {Flying forward and lighting in front of Eva, his
trepidation showing} Yes, sire?

Eva: {Stern} Take Bryden home. I've got to teach my son a
lesson.

{The camera views the cubs. Kyle crouches lower in the
grass as if to hide. Ace flies back to the cubs.}

Ace: Come, Bryden. Kyle... {puts his wings on Kyle's
shoulders, gives a heavy sigh, and then a reassuring pat}
Good luck.

{Ace and Bryden leave. The camera view is of Kyle in the
foreground with Eva facing away from the camera in the
background.}

Eva: {Calling, still very stern, not looking at Kyle}
Kyle! {The word reverberates in the night air.}

{Kyle slowly turns and walks towards his father. The
camera follows him forward. Ominous yet sad music. Kyle
steps into a depression. looking down he sees that his
forepaw fits inside just the palm print of his father's
paw. A very tense moment for Kyle. It comes across to the
audience that his father could easily do much, much more
than discipline Kyle. [It also comes across that Kyle has
some rather big shoes to fill, so to speak, and is only now
realizing his true position. -BT] Kyle is harshly reminded
of how small and young he is compared to his father. He looks
up and, quite courageously, continues to come forward.}

{Eva thinks silently for a few moments, not looking at his
son. Then, finally, he turns to him.}

Eva: Kyle, I'm very disappointed in you.

Kyle: {Very quietly and sadly} I know.

Eva: {Continuing} You could have been killed. You
deliberately disobeyed me. And what's worse, you put
Bryden in danger!

Kyle: {Bordering on crying, voice cracks} I was just
trying to be brave like you.

Eva: I'm only brave when I have to be. Kyle... being
brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble.

Kyle: But you're not scared of anything.

Eva: I was today.

Kyle: {Disbelieving} You were?

Eva: Yes... {bends down close to Kyle} I thought I might lose you.

Kyle: Oh. {Lightening slightly} I guess even HEAD BITCH IN CHARGEs get
scared, huh?

Eva: Mm-hmm.

Kyle: {Whispering conspiratorially} But you know what?

Eva: {Whispering back} What?

Kyle: I think those hyenas were even scarder.

Eva: {Gentle laugh} 'Cause nobody messes with your dad.
Come here, you.

{Eva has bent down. He picks Kyle up and starts
giving him a noogie.}

Kyle: Oh no, no... Aaagh! Errrggh!

{Music rises as Kyle and Eva tussle playfully for a
Brief while.}

Kyle: Oh, come here... {as Eva runs away} Hah! Gotcha!

{They end up with Eva laid down and Kyle
on his head}

Kyle: Dad?

Eva: Hmm?

Kyle: We're pals, right?

Eva: {Gentle laugh} Right.

Kyle: And we'll always be together, right?

Eva: {Sitting up, Kyle now on his shoulder} Kyle... Let
me tell you something that my father told me... Look
at the stars. The great HEAD BITCH IN CHARGEs of the past look down on
us from those stars.

Kyle: {Awed} Really?

Eva: Yes... So whenever you feel alone, just remember
that those HEAD BITCH IN CHARGEs will always be there to guide you ...
And so will I.

[Be Prepared Scene]

{Camera switch from stars to Hyena cave. As we move into the
cave, we first hear Alli's voice and eventually see
Alli and Bri together with Gina to the side.}

Alli: Man, that lousy Eva! I won't be able to sit for
a week! {We notice numerous scratches on Alli's
rear}

Bri: {Laughs}

Alli: It's not funny, Bri.

Bri: {Tries to stop laughing, but bursts out worse}

Alli: Hey, shut up!

Bri: {Can NOT stop laughing}

{Alli tackles Bri; they start fighting.}

Gina: Will you knock it off!

{Alli stops. Bri continues, biting himself in the leg.}

Alli: Well, he started it!

Gina: Look at you guys. No wonder we're dangling at the
bottom of the food chain.

Alli: {With drool dangling from his mouth} Man, I hate
dangling.

Gina: Pfyeah? You know, if it weren't for those lions,
we'd be runnin' the joint.

Alli: Yeah. Man, I hate lions.

Gina: So pushy.

Alli: And hairy.

Gina: And stinky.

Alli: And man, are they...

Gina and Alli: UuuugLY! {laughter}

Kath: {From his perch we saw in the Hyena chase} Oh,
surely we lions are not all THAT bad.

Alli: Ohh. {relieved from the surprise} Oh, Kath, it's
just you.

Gina: We were afraid it was someone important.

Alli: Yeah, you know, like Eva.

Gina: Yeah.

Kath: I see.

Alli: Now that's power.

Gina: Tell me about it. I just hear that name and
I shudder.

Alli: What, Eva?

Gina: {Shivering} No. Reno!

Alli: Reno.

Gina: Ooooh! Say it again.

Alli: Reno.

Gina: Ooooh!

Alli: Reno! Reno Reno!

Gina: {Builds up hysterical laughter} ...Oooh! It tingles me.

Kath: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Alli: Not you, Kath; I mean, you're one of us. I mean,
you're our pal.

Kath: {Sarcastic} Charmed.

Gina: Ohh, I like that. He's not HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE, but he's still so
proper.

Alli: Yeah. Hey, hey. Did ya Bring us anything to eat,
Kath, old buddy, old pal? Huh? Did-ya-did-ya-did-ya?

Kath: I don't think you really deserve this. {Holds out a
zebra haunch.} I practically gift-wrapped those cubs for
you. {Drops leg to Hyenas} And you couldn't even
dispose of them. {Intro fade-in on Be Prepared}

Gina: {Chewing with full mouth} Well, ya know. It wasn't
exactly like they was alone, Kath.

Alli: Yeah. What are we supposed to do-- {swallow} kill
Eva?

Kath: Precisely.

{The three hyenas pause from eating and look up at Kath
questioningly.}

{Three-top flutter to coincide with Kath's
leaps down to the Hyenas. Start full song.}

Kath: {Spoken over what is now faded intro}
I never thought hyenas essential.
They're crude and unspeakably plain.
But maybe there's a glimmer of potential
If allied to my vision and brain.

{Kath walks calmly through sheets of flame and gas into the
camera over the opening bit of the song}

[Bryden]

All (Even Bri, who can be heard growling and snarling an
approximation of the lines):
Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!

{Close with a fill-in and a fade-out. Kath and the hyenas are
laughing evilly. Drum roll rises to a crash coinciding with the
panoramic opening of the next scene.}

[Stampede Scene.. oh, dear, this one always used to make lil bry cry…]

{Camera switch to a view of a large canyon. Cloud shadows scroll slowly
over the landscape.}

Kath: Now you wait here. Your father has a marvelous
surprise for you.

{Camera switch to bottom of the gully. Kath and Kyle are
near a rock, underneath a small tree.}

Kyle: Oooh. What is it?

Kath: If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would
it?

Kyle: If you tell me, I'll still act surprised.

Kath: Ho ho ho. You are such a naughty boy.

Kyle: Come on, Uncle Kath.

Kath: No-no-no-no-no-no-no. This is just for you and your daddy.
You know, a sort of... father-son... thing.

{Through Kyle's expression, we see that he resents Kath's dismissive
attitude, but soon shrugs it off.}

Kath: Well! I'd better go get him.

Kyle: I'll go with you.

Kath: {Loud, snapping tone} No! {regaining composure} Heh heh heh.
No. Just stay on this rock. You wouldn't want to end up in
another mess like you did with the hyenas...

Kyle: {Shocked} You know about that?

Kath: Kyle, everybody knows about that.

Kyle: {Meek and embarrassed} Really?

Kath: Oh, yes. Lucky Daddy…err.. Mummy… whatever… was there to save you, eh? {clearly enjoying himself; he puts a paw on Kyle's shoulder} Oh... and just between us, you might want to work on that little of yours. Hmm?

{Kath starts to pull away}

Kyle: Oh... Okay...

{Kath pats Kyle roughly on the head, then moves off.}

Kyle: Hey, Uncle Kath, will I like the surprise?

Kath: {Turning back over his shoulder} Kyle, it's to DIE for. {Oh, subtle, Kathleen}

{There’s a big ass ol herd of wildebeests grazing. The fangirl Hyenas are waiting off-camera}

Alli: {Stomach growls}

Gina: Shut up.

Alli: I can't help it. I'm so hungry... {jumping up} I
gotta have a wildebeest!

Gina: Stay put.

Alli: Can't I just pick off one of the little sick ones?

Gina: No! We wait for the signal from Kath. Besides, that’s not exactly sanitary {Wrinkles nose}

{Move to Kath mounting a rock in view of the hyenas}

Gina: There he is... {making an evil, almost humorous face}
let's go.

{Camera switch back to Kyle}

Kyle: Little roar. Puh!

{A lizard walks past Kyle. He growls at it.}

Kyle: Rarrr!

{The lizard has no reaction to this first attempt. Kyle then
jumps down and tries again.}

Kyle: Rrrraowr-nh!

{For the third attempt, Kyle moves closer again and inhales
deeply.}

Kyle: RAOWR!

{The lizard skitters off screen. Kyle's roar echoes around the canyon.
Shot of Kyle lifting his ears to relish the echo. The echo is
soon eclipsed, however, by a low rumble. Kyle looks
down and sees pebbles jumping. Cue the very sinister "To Die For"
music. We see the herd coming over the lip of the cavern. Dramatic
multi-layer camera pull up to Kyle's terrified face. Kyle takes
off in front of the herd.}

{Cut to the rim of the gorge, where the Hyenas are seen chasing
the wildebeest herd, nipping at their heels to drive them over
the Bridge. Camera switch to Eva and Ace a short distance from
the canyon.}

Ace: Oh look, sire; the herd is on the move.

Eva: Odd...

{Kath runs up, out of breath}

Kath: Eva. Quick. Stampede. In the gorge. Kyle's down
there!

Eva: Kyle?

{Camera switch to Kyle. He is running and climbs up a
dead tree. Ace flies ahead of Eva and Kath, down into
the cavern. He spots Kyle.}

Kyle: {Clinging precariously to a tree} Ace! Help me!!

Ace: Your father is on the way! Hold on!

Kyle: {Losing grip} Hurry!

{Eva and Kath are on the lower ledges of the gorge.
Ace flies back to Eva and points out where Kyle is.}

Ace: There! There! On that tree!

Eva: Hold on, Kyle!

{In the gully, a wildebeest rams the tree Kyle's on,
nearly breaking it.}

Kyle: Uhhh!

{Eva runs out into the herd, joining the stampeded.}

Ace: Oh Kath, this is awful. What will we do? What will
we do? Hah ... I'll go back for help, that's what I'll
do, I'll go back for he--oomph!

{Kath backhands Ace into a rock wall, knocking him out.
Kath then follows Eva's progress from the lip of the
gorge, his shadow cast mysteriously from the bottom of the
gully {!}. Eva runs with the herd till slightly past the
tree. He whips around the front of some wildebeest and
runs into the herd towards Kyle's tree. He gets rammed
Headfirst once, throwing him to the ground. A wildebeest
hits Kyle's tree, throwing Kyle into the air. Eva gets
up in time to catch Kyle in the air with his mouth. He
gets hit again and accidentally throws Kyle. Kyle dodges
a few oncoming wildebeest. Eva runs by with the herd
and grabs Kyle. He jumps up to a near rock ledge and sets
Kyle down, but is immediately struck by a wildebeest and
carried off into the stampede.}

Kyle: DAD! MOM! Um… EVA!

{Kyle watches in horror as he cannot find his father in
the swirling mass of wildebeest below him. At the last
second, Eva leaps out of the herd and starts to climb
with great difficulty up the sheer rock slope. Kyle
turns and starts to climb up to the top of the gorge. Out
of Kyle's sight, Eva reaches a point right below a
ledge where he can't climb due to the steepness. His claws are
scraping and his back paws have no traction. Above him on
the ledge is Kath.}

Eva: Kath! Broth-- {slips, barely hangs on} Brother! Help me!

{Kath looks disdainfully down, and then suddenly latches
onto Eva's forepaws with claws extended. Eva roars,
primarily from the sudden pain of Kath's claws, but no doubt also
due to the sudden flash of realization. His expression slowly
changes to one of horror as he recognizes Kath's intent.}

Kath: {Slowly and evilly} Long live the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

{Kath throws his brother backwards. Eva free-falls,
back first. The camera follows Eva down from under him,
then from above him, showing the stampeded raging below.}

Eva: Aaaaaaahh!

{Camera suddenly focuses in on Kyle, who is watching his
father hit the ground. No sound effects of the hit. No
view of it either. Eva and Kyle's screams mingle.}

Kyle: Nooooooo!

{The herd passes. Everything is clouded by dust. Kyle
bounds to the cavern floor. Eva is nowhere to be
seen.}

Kyle: {Cough} Dad!!

{We hear a sound}

Kyle: {Quietly} Dad?

{We see a stray wildebeest run past, the source of the
sound. The wildebeest curves around a log further down the
gully. Under the log is Eva, laying on his side. He is
not moving or breathing. Kyle approaches the body. Sad
musical theme. Again we notice how small Kyle really is.}

Kyle: {Hopefully} Dad? ...Dad, come on. {He rubs up
against Eva's cheek. The head merely rolls back in
place after the rub} You gotta get up. {He places both
forepaws on his father's cheek and pushes} Dad. We gotta go
home. {He tugs at Eva's ear. Again the head limply
moves back in place. Kyle runs off a bit, obviously
very scarred.} HEEEEELP! Somebody! Anybody ... Help.

{He cries. Kyle turns back to the body. He nuzzles up under the
limp paw so that his father is embracing him. Pause for effect.}

{Where the music would resolve, we hit a minor chord as
the image of Kath advancing appears through the dust.}

Kath: Kyle. ...What have you done?

Kyle: {Jumps back, crying} There were wildebeests and he
tried to save me... it was an accident, I... I didn't
mean for it to happen.

Kath: {Embracing Kyle, yet still distant} Of course, of
course you didn't. No one... ever means {pulls Kyle
closer; Kyle hides his face on Kath's foreleg} for
these things to happen. But the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE IS dead. {looking
with mock regret at Kyle) And if it weren't for you, he'd
still be alive. {Kyle is crushed, believing his guilt.
Another thought "occurs" to Kath.} Oh! What will your
mother think?

Kyle: {Sniffing} What am I gonna do?

Kath: Run away, Kyle. Run... Run away and never return.

{Kyle runs off blindly, obviously broken. Slight pause,
for the audience to catch its emotional breath. Music ends.
The three hyenas appear behind Kath.}

Kath: Kill him.

{The hyenas take off after him; Kath stands motionless.
Kyle is chased up the entire length of the gully. He
reaches the lip only to see a sheer drop on the other
side. Having no choice he jumps and tumbles down into a
patch of Briars below. The hyenas pursue the entire way.
When the are running down towards the Briars, Alli sees
the bushes.

Alli: Whoa!!

{After skidding extensively, Alli manages to stop just above
the brambles. He heaves a sigh of relief. Then Gina and Bri run
into him, propelling him into the bushes.}

Alli: Yeow! {Jumping back out of the bushes}

{Shenzi and Bri are laughing}

Gina: {Seeing Kyle emerge from the far side of the
Briars into the desert} Hey-- There he goes! There he goes!

Alli: {Removing thorns} So go get 'im.

Gina: There ain't no way I'm going in there. What, you
want me to come out there looking like you? Cactus
Butt?

Alli: {Spitting out thorns into Bri's laughing face; Bri
lets out a small yelp of pain} We gotta finish the job.

Gina: Well, he's as good as dead out there anyway. And
IF he comes back, we'll kill him.

Alli: {Shouting} Yeah! you hear that? If you come
back, we'll kill ya!!!

{"Kill ya" echoes off as we see Kyle still running into the
desert. The Hyenas make their way off the cliffs back to
the Pride Lands.}

}Back at Pride rock, Kath is addressing the lionesses by the ultra-dramatical moonlight}

Kath: Eva's death was a terrible tragedy; but to lose Kyle, who had barely begun to live...

{The lionesses, with Ace, are comforting Aubrey, who bends her head in extreme pain. Bryden is rubbing against her mother's paw, crying.}

Kath: ...For me it is a deep personal loss. So it is with a
heavy heart that I assume the throne. Yet, out of the
ashes of this tragedy, we shall rise to greet the
dawning of a new era... {The hyenas start emerging, casting
eerie green shadows and laughing hollowly} ...in
which lion and hyena come together, in a great and
glorious future! {Kath ascends Pride Rock as the hyenas
appear in full force.}

{The camera pans to Travis who is shaking his head in the
distance. The scene changes with Travis in the same position.
He is in his tree house. After wiping away a tear, he
reaches up and rubs his hand across the cub painting,
smearing it. The camera changes. The painting, smeared, is
overlaid on Kyle laying out in the hot desert sun.}

[Buzzards - Intro to The Crazies Rule Here Scene]

{Buzzards are circling the cub's body. One descends, then
all. They circle around it. With a blast of music, Jaya
riding Gafe appears and dives into the midst of the
buzzards. The slap and kick the buzzards all away.}

Jaya: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaahh! Get out! Get outta here!
Whoo!

Gafe: I love it! Bowling for buzzards!

Jaya: {Laughing, dusting himself off} Gets 'em every time.

Gafe: {Looking at Kyle} Uh-oh. Hey Jaya. You better
come look. I think it's still alive.

Jaya: Ewww...

{Jaya walks to the front of Kyle. He is lying with his
paw over his face.}

Jaya: All righty, what have we got here? {he smells
Kyle}

{He tries to lift Kyle's paw. He can't. He gets under it
and with a great push gets it above his head. He sees
Kyle's face.}

Jaya: Jeez, it's a lion! {Jumping up on Gafe} Run,
Gafe! Move it!

Gafe: Hey, Jaya. It's just a little lion. Look at him.
He's so cute, and all alone! Can we keep him?

Jaya: {Yelling into Gafe's ear, which creates a reverberating
effect} Gafe, are you nuts? We're talking about a lion.
Lions eat guys like us.

Gafe: But he's so little.

{He leans over to regard Kyle, and accidentally dumps Jaya
from his head.}

Jaya: He's gonna get bigger.

Gafe: {Seen from Jaya's point of view on the ground, with a
huge nose) Maybe he'll be on our side.

Jaya: A--huh! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. Maybe
he'll b-- ...Hey, I got it! What if he's on our side?
You know, having a lion around might not be such a bad
idea.

Gafe: So we keeping 'im?

Jaya: Of course. Who's the brains in this outfit?

{Gafe scoops Kyle up on his tusks}

Gafe: Uhhh...

Jaya: My point exactly. Jeez, I'm fried. Let's get out of
here and find some shade.

{Gafe trots off with Jaya on his back and carrying Kyle.}

[The Crazies Rule Here Scene]

{Camera switch to Gafe, Jaya, and Kyle near a pool of
water and oasis. Kyle has been laid near the water. Jaya
splashes some water in Kyle's face. Kyle stirs.}

Jaya: You okay, kid?

Kyle: I guess so.

Gafe: You nearly died.

Jaya: I saved you.

Gafe: {Snorts at Jaya}

Jaya: Well, uh, Gafe helped. A little.

Kyle: {Dully} Thanks for your help.

{Kyle heads off quietly back out towards the desert.}

Jaya: Hey, where you going?

Kyle: Nowhere.

Jaya: {Watching Kyle, talking} Gee. He looks
blue.

Gafe: I'd say brownish-gold.

Jaya: No, no, no, no. I mean he's depressed.

Gafe: Oh.

{Gafe trots up to Kyle}

Gafe: Hey kid, what's eatin' ya?

Jaya: Nothing; he's at the top of the food chain!
Ahhhhhhha ha haaa! The food cha-haain! {Gafe and Kyle
stare at him silently} Ha ha hum... ahem. {Realizing his
joke flopped} So, where you from...?

Kyle: Who cares? I can't go back.

Jaya: Ahh. You're an outcast! That's great, so are we.

Gafe: What'cha do, kid?

Kyle: Something terrible. But I don't wanna talk about it.

Jaya: Good. We don't wanna hear about it.

Gafe: {To Jaya} Come on, Jaya. {To Kyle} Anything we
can do?

Kyle: Not unless you can change the past.

Gafe: You know, kid, in times like this my buddy Jaya
here says, "You got to put your behind in your past..."

Jaya: {Waving arms} No. No. No.

Gafe: I mean...

Jaya: Amateur. Lie down before you hurt yourself. {to Kyle}
It's "You got to put your past behind you." Look, kid. Bad
things happen, and you can't do anything about it, right?

Kyle: Right.

Jaya: Wrong! When the world turns its back on you, you
turn your back on the world.

Kyle: Well, that's not what I was taught.

Jaya: Then maybe you need a new lesson. Repeat after me.
{Clears throat} The Crazies Rule Here.

Kyle: {Still lethargic} What?

Gafe: The cra-zees, rule here. It means "No worries."

{music starts out of nowhere}

Jaya:
The Crazies Rule Here!



All three:
The Crazies Rule Here!

{Jaya pulls back a fern leaf, revealing a beautiful view
of a rift-jungle. Waterfalls and rugged terrain make a
beautiful view. Harp runs accentuate the scene.}

Jaya: Welcome... to our humble home.

Kyle: You live here?

Jaya: We live wherever we want.

Gafe: Yep. Home is where your rump rests. Heh!

Kyle: It's beautiful.

Gafe: {Loud raunchy belch} I'm starved.

Kyle: I'm so hungry I could eat a whole zebra.

{Jaya is rather disturbed by Kyle's want for meat-- a little
bit taken aback and a little bit I-knew-this-would-happen.}

Jaya: Eeeahhah. We're fresh out of zebra.

Kyle: Any antelope?

Jaya: Na ah.

Kyle: {A bit desperate} Hippo?

Jaya: Nope. Listen, kid; if you live with us, you have to
eat like us. Hey, this looks like a good spot to
rustle up some grub.

{Jaya has stopped in front of a log. Gafe forces it up
with his snout, revealing many insects. Jaya picks one up.}

Kyle: Eeew. What's that?

Jaya: A grub. What's it look like?

Kyle: Eeew. Gross.

Jaya: {Eating, mouth full} Mmmm. Tastes like chicken.

{Gafe slurps up a large worm from the ground. Both
Jaya and Gafe are feasting on bugs by now.}

Gafe: {Slurping} Slimy, yet satisfying.

Jaya: {Grabbing a bug} These are rare delicacies. Mmmm.
{Crunches} Piquant, with a very pleasant crunch.

Gafe: You'll learn to love 'em.

Jaya: I'm telling you, kid, this is the great life. No
rules. No responsibilities. {pokes his hand into a knothole--
many bugs scramble out} Oooh! The little cream-filled kind.
{munch} And best of all, no worries.

{Jaya has been collecting bugs on a leaf. He offers it to
Kyle. Kyle picks out a grub.}

Jaya: Well, kid?

Kyle: Oh well-- The Crazies Rule Here. {He eats}

{Sick music}

Kyle: {looking more cheerful} Slimy, yet satisfying.

Jaya: That's it!

{The bugs fly off the leaf in a colorful flutter. And, yah, we all knew that those three ate bugs all along. This just proves it.}

{The scene switches to all three crossing a logwalking
and tossing their heads to the music. With a steady build
in the music, a change occurs. We see the image of young
Kyle become an adolescent Kyle, with a partial mane. And
then again, Kyle becomes a full grown adult.}

Gafe and Jaya: {Chanting to music} The Crazies Rule Here,
The Crazies Rule Here, The Crazies Rule Here.

Kyle: {Adult voice now.}
It means no worries
For the rest of your days.

All three:
It's our problem-free
Philosophy

Kyle:
The Crazies Rule Here

{All three dive off of the log into a pond. First, Jaya
jumps in doing a cannonball, and makes a small splash.
Then Gafe, doing a swan dive, makes a small splash too.
Finally Kyle swings out on a vine (gripped in his teeth).
Before he can dive, the vine breaks under his weight. The
resulting splash is big enough to wash Gafe and Jaya
ashore.}

The Crazies Rule Here

{Kyle joins Jaya and Gafe on shore. The song breaks
into gentle jazz voice improvisations on the words "Hakuna
Matata." We see a rear view of Jaya, Gafe, and Kyle
boogeying off into the forest to the beat of "The Crazies Rule Here."}

[Ace Sings Scene]

{The camera switches to a far view of Pride Rock. Almost
all of the coloring is in gray. Most of the plants and
trees appear to be dead. We can hear Ace's first line and
then the scene switches to a view of Ace and Kath. Ace
is in a cage made of some animal's ribcage, singing.
Kath is laying out on a rock picking her teeth with a
bone.}

Ace:
Nobody knows
The trouble I've seen
Nobody knows
My sorrow...

Kath: Oh Ace, do lighten up. {She tosses the bone at Ace
and it clatters against the cage} Sing something with
a little... bounce in it.

Ace: {Thinks a moment}
It's a small world after all...

Kath: {Interrupting, almost shouting} No! No. Anything but
that!

Ace: {Thinks, then holds up a feather as a tune comes to him.}
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts
(diddely-dee-dee)
There they are a-standing in a row...

{Kath is enjoying this and starts to join in}

Ace and Kath: Big ones, small ones, some as big as your
head...

Ace: {While Kath continues} Oh... I would never have had to do
this for Eva.

Kath: {Quick and angry} What? What did you say?

Ace: Oh, nothing!

Kath: You know the law: Never, ever mention THAT name in
my presence. I... am... the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE!

{Kath shoves his muzzle between the ribs of Ace's cage on the
last line. His breath blows Ace up against the wall.}

Ace: Yes, sire. You ARE the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE. I... I... Well, I only
mentioned it to illustrate the differences in your
royal managerial approaches. {Nervous laugh}

Alli: {Offstage} Hey Boss!

Kath: Oh, What is it this time?

Alli: We got a bone to pick with you.

Gina: {To Alli} I'll handle this. {To Kath} Kath,
there's no food, no water...

Alli: Yeah, it's dinner time, and we ain't got no
stinkin' entrees.

Kath: {Exasperated} It's the lionesses' job to do the hunting...
{makes helpless gesture}

Alli: Yeah, but they won't go hunt.

Kath: Oh... eat Ace.

Ace: Oh, you wouldn't want me. I'd be so tough and gamey
and... eeww...

Kath: Oh, Ace, don't be ridiculous. All you need is a
little garnish.

Alli: {To Gina} I thought things were bad under
Eva.

Kath: {Quick and angry again} What did you say?

Alli: I said Ev...

{Shenzi is smiling at Kath and thwaps Alli to remind him.}

Alli: I said, uh... "Qua pasa?"

Kath: Good. Now get out.

{The hyenas start out but then pause}

Alli: Mm... yeah, but-- we're still hungry.

Kath: Out!

{They run off; Bri lets loose a crazy laugh}

[Second Star Scene]

{The camera switches to a view of the jungle. We hear a
monstrous belch reverberate across the landscape. The
camera switches to Jaya, Gafe, and Kyle lying on their
backs looking at the stars.}

Jaya: Whoah. Nice one, Kyle.

Kyle: Thanks. Man, I'm stuffed.

Gafe: Me too. I ate like a pig.

Kyle: Gafe-- you are a pig.

Gafe: Oh. Right.

{All three sigh deeply, in unison. Gentle music fades in.}

Gafe: Jaya?

Jaya: Yeah?

Gafe: Ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up
there?

Jaya: Gafe. I don't wonder; I know.

Gafe: Oh. What are they?

Jaya: They're fireflies. Fireflies that uh... got stuck up
on that big... bluish-black... thing.

Gafe: Oh. Gee. I always thought that they were balls of
gas burning billions of miles away.

Jaya: Gafe, wit' you, everything's gas.

Gafe: Kyle, what do you think?

Kyle: Well, I don't know...

Gafe: Aw come on. Give, give, give .. Well, come
on, Kyle, we told you ours... pleeeease?
Jaya: Come on, come on... give, give..

{Cue "Lea Halalela" theme.}

Kyle: {Reluctantly} Well, somebody once told me that the great
HEAD BITCH IN CHARGEs of the past are up there, watching over us.

Gafe: {Awed, either really or just to make fun of the loser} Really?

Jaya: You mean a bunch of royal dead guys are watching
us? {tries to keep composure, then...} Pbbb.

{Jaya breaks out laughing. Gafe joins in. Kyle does
half-heartedly.}

Jaya: Who told you something like that? What mook made
that up?

Kyle: Yeah. Pretty dumb, huh?

Jaya: Aw, you're killing me.

{The music rises again. Kyle looks back up at the stars.
He quietly gets up and leaves.}

Jaya: Was it something I said?

[Discovery Scene]

{The music continues. Kyle walks out on a ledge and
looks up at the stars. He then collapses to lay on the
Bridge of the ledge. Milkweed floss is stirred into the air
by his flop. The camera follows its path. It crosses the
desert. Next we see Travis's hand snatch some it out of
the air. He sniffs it, grunts, and bounds down into his
tree. He pours the milkweed into a bowl, sifts it around,
and then eats from the same kind of fruit he anointed
Kyle with. Examining the milkweed floss again,
realization dawns on his face.}

Travis: Kyle? He's- he's alive? He he- he's alive! {He laughs} Ah, his absinthe shit MUST be working if I can see the future like that!!

{Travis grabs his staff. Laughing in delight, he picks up some
paint and puts a mane on the smeared lion image on the wall.}

Travis: It is time!

["In the Jungle" Scene]

{The camera switches to a jungle scene. We hear Gafe
singing the familiar bass to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight".
Jaya joins in as they walk towards the camera. A Capella. Also, tone deaf.}

Gafe: {Singing}
Ohi'mbube
Ohi'mbube
{etc.....}

Jaya: {Singing}
In the jungle
The mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight.

In the jungle
The mighty jungle

{Gafe turns to follow a bug; he fades out.}

The lion sleeps...
{Spearhead BITCH IN CHARGE} I can't hear you, buddy, back me up!

{Gafe has faded out, having followed the bug stage left. The
following line is in full and good falsetto.}

A-WEEEE-ee-EE-ee ba-Pum-ba-bum-ba-way

{Realizing Gafe is not there}

A-Gafe?
Gafe?

{Camera switch to Gafe following the bug. He is still
humming the bass. He stalks the bug up to a log, theatrically
hiding behind a tree. When he tries to jump over the log he gets
stuck momentarily and looks back.}

Gafe: {Spooked} Jaya? {Looks around, then shrugs}

{He jumps over the log. As he views the bug at close range,
the camera (at his viewpoint) switches focus from it to a
pair of green eyes out in the grass. The camera closes up
on a lioness getting ready to jump.}

Gafe: YEEEEAAAHHH!

{He runs, with the lioness in hot pursuit. The lioness,
with teeth and claws bared, chases Gafe around at high
speed. Camera switch to Jaya.}

Jaya: {Hearing the noise of the chase} Gafe?

{Gafe runs near Jaya and gets stuck under the root of a
tree by trying to squeeze through.}

Jaya: Gafe! Gafe! Hey, what's goin' on?

Gafe: SHE'S GONNA EAT ME!

Jaya: Huh?

{Jaya gets up on the branch and sees the lioness charging
at full speed towards them. He gets down and tries to help
push Gafe out from under the root.}

Jaya: {Seeing the lioness} Woah! ... Jeez! Why do I always have
to save your AAAAAA!

{On the AAAAAA!, Jaya sees the lioness was about to
close on Gafe and he is in the line of attack. At the
last minute, Kyle bounds over Gafe and catches the
lioness head on at full force. They start fighting
savagely.}

Jaya: {To Gafe} Don't worry, buddy. I'm here for ya.
Everything's gonna be okay. {To Kyle} Get her! Bite
her head! Go for the jugular. The jugular! {to Gafe}
See, I told you he'd come in handy.

{The lions tangle for a bit more. The fight becomes a
wrestling. The lioness flips Kyle and pins him with a
loud thump. Kyle is startled by this. The lioness is still
baring her teeth. Kyle, however, is very surprised and
no longer threatening.}

Kyle: Bryden?

{She immediately backs off and looks at Kyle, examining him.}

Kyle: Is it really you?

Bryden: Who are you?

Kyle: It's me. Kyle.

Bryden: Kyle? {Pause for realization} Whoah!

{Kyle and Bryden run together and greet each other. The
greetings are enthused and run over each other.}

Bryden: Well how did you.. where did you come from... it's
great to see YOU...
Kyle: Aaah! How did you... who... wow... this is cool... it's
great to see you...

{Camera view of Jaya who is completely baffled by this
sudden change}

Jaya: Hey, what's goin' on here?

Kyle: {Still to Bryden} What are you doing here?

Bryden: What do you mean, "What am I doing here?" What are
you doing here?

Jaya: HEY! WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE!?!?!

Kyle: Jaya, this is Bryden. She's my best friend.

Jaya: {Thoroughly confused} Friend?!?

Kyle: Yeah. Hey, Gafe, come over here.

{Gafe gets himself unstuck.}

Kyle: Bryden, this is Gafe. Gafe, Bryden.

Gafe: Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Bryden: The pleasure's all mine.

Jaya: How do you do.. Whoa! Whoa. Time out.. Lemme get
this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she
wants to eat him. And everybody's... okay with this?
DID I MISS SOMETHING?!?

Kyle: Relax, Jaya.

Bryden: Wait till everybody finds out you've been here all
this time! And your mother... what will she think?

Kyle: {Misunderstanding} She doesn't have to know. Nobody has to know.

Bryden: Well, of course they do. Everyone thinks you're dead.

Kyle: They do?

Bryden: Yeah. Kath told us about the stampede.

Kyle: He did? Well... {beginning to see something} what else
did he tell you?

Bryden: What else matters? You're alive. and that means...
you're the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

Jaya: HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE? Pbbb. Lady, have you got your lions crossed.

Gafe: HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE? Your Majesty! I gravel at your feet. {Noisily
kisses Kyle's paw}

Kyle: Stop it.

Jaya: {To Gafe} It's not "gravel." It's "grovel." And
DON'T-- he's not the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE. {to Kyle} Are ya?

Kyle: No.

Bryden: Kyle?

Kyle: No, I'm not the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE. Maybe I was gonna be, but...
that was a long time ago.

Jaya: Let me get this straight. You're the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE? And you
never told us?

Kyle: Look, I'm still the same guy.

Jaya: {Enthusiastic} But with power!

Bryden: {Apologetic} Could you guys... excuse us for a few minutes?

Jaya: Hey, {taps Gafe} whatever she has to say, she can
say in front of us. Right, Kyle?

Kyle: Hmm. Maybe you'd better go.

Jaya: {Aghast, then resigned} It starts. You think you know a guy...

{Gafe and Jaya pad off. Gafe sighs.}

Kyle: Jaya and Gafe. You learn to love 'em.

{Bryden has her head bowed down sadly.}

Kyle: What? ...What is it?

Bryden: {Quietly} It's like you're back from the dead. You
don't know how much this will mean to everyone. {Pained
expression} ...What it means to me.

Kyle: Hey, it's okay.

Bryden: {Rubbing under Kyle's chin, purring} I've really
missed you.

Kyle: {Startled by Bryden's boldness for an instant, then
reciprocating} I've missed you too.

["Can You Feel the Love Tonight" Scene]

{They are rubbing heads. We hear Jaya sigh; camera
switch to show them watching from the bushes.}

Jaya: {Heavy sigh} I tell you, Gafe, this stinks.

Gafe: Oh. Sorry.

Jaya. Not you. Them! Him. Her. Alone.

Gafe: What's wrong with that?

{Singing}

{Parenthetical part is spoken by Gafe.}

Jaya:
I can see what's happening
(What?)
And they don't have a clue
(Who?)
They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line
Our trio's down to two.
(Oh.)

{In a sarcastic mock-French accent}

Ze sweet caress of twilight

{Back to normal, but still sarcastic}

There's magic everywhere
And with all this romantic atmosphere
Disaster's in the air

{The scene passes from Jaya and Gafe to Kyle and Bryden
in front of a waterfall. Because we can all TOTALLY see Kyle and Bry ever doing THIS kinda shit. e.e Bloody casting necessities... *grumble grumble*}



{Camera switches back to a tearful Jaya and Gafe.}

Jaya:
And if he falls in love tonight {Gafe sniffs}
It can be assumed

{Jaya hugs Gafe, tearfully.}

Gafe:
His carefree days with us are history

Jaya and Gafe:
In short, our pal is doomed

{They let loose crying full force.}

[Hammock Scene]

Kyle: Isn't this a great place?

Bryden: It is beautiful. But I don't understand something.
You've been alive all this time. Why didn't you come
back to Pride Rock?

Kyle: {Climbing into a "hammock" of hanging vines} Well,
I just needed to... get out on my own. Live my own
life. And I did. And it's great.

Bryden: We've really needed you at home.

Kyle: {Quieter} No one needs me.

Bryden: Yes, we do! You're the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

Kyle: Bryden, we've been through this. I'm not the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.
Kath is.

Bryden: Kyle, he let the hyenas take over the Pride Lands.

Kyle: What?

Bryden: Everything's destroyed. There's no food. No water.
Kyle, if you don't do something soon, everyone will
starve.

Kyle: I can't go back.

Bryden: {Louder} Why?

Kyle: You wouldn't understand.

Bryden: What wouldn't I understand?

Kyle: {Hastily} No, no, no. It doesn't matter. The Crazies Rule Here.

Bryden: {Confused} What?

Kyle: The Crazies Rule Here. It's something I learned out here.
Look, sometimes bad things happen...

Bryden: Kyle!

Kyle: (Continuing, irritated) ...And there's nothing you can do
about it. So why worry?

{Kyle starts away from Bryden, walking on a fallen tree. Bryden
trots back up to him.}

Bryden: Because it's your responsibility!

Kyle: Well, what about you? YOU left.

Bryden: I left to find help! And I found YOU. Don't you
understand? You're our only hope.

Kyle: Sorry.

Bryden: What's happened to you? You're not the Kyle I
remember.

Kyle: You're right. I'm not. Now are you satisfied?

Bryden: No, just disappointed.

Kyle: You know, you're starting to sound like my father.
{Walking away again}

Bryden: Good. At least one of us does.

{Kyle is obviously cut by the comment about his father;
he tears into Bryden with his words.}

Kyle: {Angry} Listen, you think you can just show up and
tell me how to live my life? You don't even know what
I've been through!

Bryden: I would if you would just tell me!

Kyle: Forget it!

Bryden: Fine!

{Kyle walks off. Camera switch to Kyle pacing in a field.}

Kyle: She's wrong. I can't go back. What would it prove,
anyway? You can't change the past.

{He looks up at the stars.}

You said you'd always be there for me! But you're not.
And it's because of me. It's my fault. It's my fault.

{He bows his head, choking back tears. Travis is in a nearby tree, spying like a pedo and chanting like a loon Kyle seems slightly annoyed by the chant. He moves away.
Travis, elated by the sight of Kyle, follows him.
Kyle lies down on a log over a pond. A rock disturbs the
water; Travis, now in a nearby tree, starts his chant again.}

Kyle: Come on, will you cut it out?

{Travis, laughing, is doing random acrobatics in the trees nearby.}

Travis: Can't cut it out. It'll grow right back! {laughs}

{Kyle starts walking away. Travis follows.}

Kyle: Creepy little monkey. Will you stop following me?
Who are you?

Travis: {In front of Kyle, then right in his face.} The
question is: Whooo... are you?

Kyle: {Startled, then sighing} I thought I knew. Now I'm not so sure.

Travis: Well, I know who you are. Shh. Come here. It's a
secret.

{He pulls Kyle's head over to whisper into his ear. He
starts his chant into Kyle's ear and laughs.}

Asante sana!
Squash banana!
We we nugu!
Mi mi apana!

Kyle: Enough already. what's that Nazi speak supposed to mean,
anyway?

Travis: It means you are a baboon-- and I'm not. {laughs}

Kyle: {Moving away} I think... you're a little confused.

Travis: {Magically in front of Kyle again} Wrong. I'm not the
one who's confused; you don't even know who you are.

Kyle: {Irritated, sarcastic} Oh, and I suppose you know?

Travis: Sure do; you're Eva's boy.

{Kyle is surprised by this revelation. Travis disappears.}

Bye!

Kyle: Hey, wait!

{Kyle chases after him. When we catch up, Travis is in a
meditative lotus position on a rock.}

You knew my father? Eh, mother? Eh... whatever?

Travis: {Monotone} Correction-- I know your father.

Kyle: I hate to tell you this, but... he died. A long time
ago.

{Travis leaps off the rock over to a dense jungle-like area.}

Travis: Nope. Wrong again! Ha ha hah! He's alive! And
I'll show him to you. You follow old Travis, he knows
the way. Come on!

{Travis leads Kyle through the brush. Kyle has trouble
keeping up due to his size.}

Travis: Don't dawdle. Hurry up!

Kyle: Hey, whoa. Wait, wait.

Travis: Come on, come on.

Kyle: Would you slow down?

{Travis is seen flitting through the canopy ahead of Kyle,
laughing hollowly and whooping. Kyle struggles to keep up.
Suddenly, Travis appears with his hand held up right into
Kyle's face.}

Travis: STOP!

{Travis motions to Kyle near some reeds.}

Shhh.

{He parts the reeds and points past them with his staff.}

Look down there.

{Kyle quietly and carefully works his way out. He looks
over the Bridge and sees his reflection in a pool of water
He first seems a bit startled, perhaps at his own mature
appearance, but then realizes what he's looking at.}

Kyle: {Disappointed sigh} That's not my father. That's just
my reflection.

Travis: Noo. Look harder.

{Travis motions over the pool. Ripples form, distorting Kyle's
reflection; they resolve into Eva's face. A deep rumbling noise
is heard.

You see, he lives in you.

{Kyle is awestruck. The wind picks up. In the air the
huge image of Eva is forming from the clouds. He
appears to be walking from the stars. The image is ghostly
at first, but steadily gains color and coherence.}

Eva: {Quietly at first} Kyle . . .

Kyle: Father?

Eva: Kyle, you have forgotten me.

Kyle: No. How could I?

Eva: You have forgotten who you are, and so have forgotten
me. Look inside yourself, Kyle. You are more than what
you have become. You must take your place in the
Circle of Life.

Kyle: How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.

{cloud-Eva, with glowing yellow eyes. He is framed
in swirling clouds, radiating golden light.}

Eva: Remember who you are. You are my son, and the one
true HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

{Close up of Kyle's face, bathed in the golden light, showing
a mixture of awe, fear, and sadness. The image of Eva starts
to fade.}

Remember who you are.

{Eva is disappearing rapidly into clouds. Kyle runs into
the fields trying to keep up with the image.}

Kyle: No. Please! Don't leave me.
Eva: Remember...
Kyle: Father!
Eva: Remember...
Kyle: Don't leave me.
Eva: Remember . . .

{Kyle is left out in the fields. There is just a cloud
left where his father's image was. The wind tosses the grass
restlessly. Travis approaches.}

Travis: What was THAT? {laughs} The weather-- Pbbbah!
Very peculiar. Don't you think?

Kyle: Yeah. Looks like the winds are changing.

Travis: Ahhh. Change is good.

Kyle: Yeah, but it's not easy. I know what I have to do.
But, going back means I'll have to face my past. I've
been running from it for so long.

{Travis whacks Kyle on the head with his staff.}

Oww! Jeez-- What was that for?

Travis: It doesn't matter; it's in the past! {laughs}

Kyle: {Rubbing head} Yeah, but it still hurts.

Travis: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it,
you can either run from it, or... learn from it.

{He swings at Kyle with his staff again. This time Kyle
ducks.}

Hah, you see! So what are you going to do?

Kyle: First, I'm gonna take your stick.

{Kyle tosses Travis's staff to the side.}

Travis: No, no, no, no! Not the stick!

{As Travis picks up his staff, Kyle starts running off.}

Hey, where are you going?

Kyle: {Shouting back} I'm going back!

Travis: Good! Go on! Get out of here! {laughs, hoots, n'
hollers. As he holds his staff above his head, a few
shooting stars zing across the sky}

{We go to Jaya and Gafe sleeping. Jaya is
curled up on Gafe; Gafe is lying on his back. Both are
snoring. In his snore, Gafe occasionally mumbles
"Grubs, grubs." Bryden approaches and taps Jaya with a paw.}

Bryden: Hey. Hey, wake up.

{Jaya wakes up and see a huge lion face in his view. He
starts screaming and Gafe joins in.}

Bryden: It's OK. Whoa, whoa. It's OK. It's ME.

Jaya: Don't ever do that again! Carnivores, oy!

Bryden: Have you guys seen Kyle?

Jaya: {Holding a hand to his head} I thought he was with you.

Bryden: He was, but now I can't find him. Where is he?

{We hear Travis's laugh; he's sitting in a tree above them. What is with this guy and the pervy angles??}

Travis: Ho, ho, ho, ho. You won't find him here. Ha ha.
The HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE... has returned.

Bryden: {Quietly} I can't believe it. {louder, amazed} He's
gone back.

Jaya: Gone back? What do you mean. {Looks where Travis
was; Travis is now gone} Hey! What's goin' on here?
Who's the monkey?

Bryden: Kyle's gone to challenge Kath.

Jaya: Who?

Bryden: Kath.

Gafe: Who's got a catheter?

Bryden, Jaya, and Travis: …uhh… no

Bryden: {shaking head} No, no, no. It's his uncle.

Jaya: The monkey's his uncle?

Bryden: No! Kyle's gone back to challenge his uncle to take
his place as HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

Jaya and Gafe: Ohhh.

[Bryden]

{Now for that annoying obligatory “running” scene that features in all movies of this trope…
Kyle is just going to run for a bit. let’s leave him to it, shall we?}

{Much later then implied by the running without getting tired… Kyle slowly crosses the desolated land. He reaches the lip of a cliff and looks out over his former home. Mostly lacking in life, it is painted in grays. Seeing the desolation, a look of determination, even fury, appears on Kyle's face.}

Bryden: Kyle, wait up! {She trots up next to him on the ledge, apparently having run the whole time just behind him… or something…}
...It's awful, isn't it?

Kyle: I didn't want to believe you.

Bryden: What made you come back?

Kyle: I finally got some sense knocked into me. And I've got the bump to prove it. Besides, this is my HEAD BITCH IN CHARGEdom. If I don't fight for it, who will?

Bryden: I will.

Kyle: It's gonna be dangerous.

Bryden: {Quoting young Kyle} Danger? Ha! I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha.

Jaya: I see nothing funny about this.

Kyle: Jaya? Gafe? What are you doing here?

Gafe: {Bowing on one foreleg} At your service, my liege.

Jaya: Uh. We're going to fight your uncle... for this?

Kyle: Yes, Jaya; this is my home.

Jaya: Ffh. Talk about your fixer-upper. Well, Kyle, if
it's important to you, {bows} we're with you to the end. Or until we get bored. Whichever.

{Kyle smiles appreciatively. Nice scene with the four
of them on the ledge viewing the work ahead of them.}

{Camera switches to Kyle. Bryden, Jaya, and Gafe
sneaking up to the Bridge of Pride Rock. From behind a log,
they observe close up the hordes of hyenas.}

Jaya: Hyenas. I hate hyenas. {To Kyle, whispering} So
what's your plan for gettin' past those guys?

Kyle: Live bait.

Jaya: Good idea. {looks suspiciously at Kyle} Heeey...

Kyle: Come on, Jaya-- you guys have to create a diversion.

Jaya: {Incredulous} What do you want me to do? Dress in drag
and do the hula?

{And POOF! Jaya in a hula outfit. Gafe is set up like a roast pig, even with
an apple in his mouth. Jungle drum riff. Yay for Hawaiian music!}

Luau!

If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat
Eat my buddy Gafe here because he is a treat

Come on down and dine
On this tasty swine
All you have to do is get in line

{Parenthetical parts are Gafe singing backup; the apple is at his feet.}

Aaaare you achin'
(Yup, yup, yup)
Foooor some bacon?
(Yup, yup, yup)
Heeee's a big pig
(Yup, yup)
You could be a big pig too.

Oy!

{The run off screaming to lead some of the hyenas away.
Kyle and Bryden make it by.}

Kyle: Bryden, you find my mother and rally the lionesses.
{determinedly} I'll look for Kath.

{And now… the obviously needed Confrontation Scene}

{Kyle is making his way up Pride Rock. Kath calling his
mother causes him to pause and watch.}

Kath: AUBREY!

{Aubrey ascends Pride Rock. The hyenas snap at her heels.
She only glares disdainfully at them, because she’s a strong furry woman like dat.}

Aubrey: Yes, Kath?

Kath: Where is your hunting party? They're not doing their job.

Aubrey: {Calmly} Kath, there is no food. The herds have moved on.

Kath: No. You're just not looking hard enough.

Aubrey: It's over. There is nothing left. We have only one
choice. We must leave Pride Rock.

Kath: We're not going anywhere.

Aubrey: Then you have sentenced us to death.

Kath: Then so be it.

Aubrey: {Disgusted, amazed, and lions! just like in the circus ads!} You can't do that.

Kath: I'm the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE. I can do whatever I want.

Aubrey: If you were half the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE Eva was you would nev--

{Kath hits Aubrey, knocking her to the ground. OOOH BITCHSLAP!!}

Kath: I'm ten times the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE Eva was!

{Kyle appears on the ledge, growling. He leaps out
and runs to his mother. Kath mistakes Kyle as Eva
and is understandably frightened.}

Eva? No. You're dead.

{Aubrey awakens at her son's nudge, but mistakes him as
Eva as Kath did.}

Aubrey: Eva?

Kyle: No. It's me.

Aubrey: {Delighted} Kyle? You're alive? {Confused} How can that be?

Kyle: It doesn't matter; I'm home.

Kath: {Confused} Kyle...? {back in form} Kyle! I'm a little surprised to see you, {giving the hyenas above him an angry look} alive...

{On the word "alive," Gina, Alli, and Bri gulp audibly
and slink into the shadows.}

Kyle: {As Aubrey looks on with some pride} Give me one good reason why I shouldn't rip you apart.

Kath: {backing into a wall, apologetic} Oh, Kyle, you must understand. The pressures of ruling a HEAD BITCH IN CHARGEdom...

Kyle: ...Are no longer yours. Step down, Kath.

Kath: Oh, oh, ye-- Well, I would, heh, naturally, heh-- however, there is one little problem. You see them? {pointing to the horde of hyenas on the rocks above} They think I'M HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

{Bryden appears with the rest of the lionesses.}

Bryden: Well, we don't. Kyle is the rightful HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.

Kyle: The choice is yours, Kath. Either step down or fight.

Kath: Oh, must it all end in violence? I'd hate to be for the death of a family member. Wouldn't you agree, Kyle?

Kyle: That's not gonna work, Kath, I've put it behind me.

Kath: Ahh, but what about your faithful subjects? Have they put it behind them?

Bryden: Kyle, what is he talking about?

Kath: {Delighted} Ahh, so you haven't told them your little secret. Well, Kyle, now's your chance to tell them. Tell them who is responsible for Eva's death!

{Kath's last line causes the lionesses to start. All are
concentrating on Kyle.}

Kyle: {Steeling himself, then taking a step forward} I am.

{Aubrey approaches her son.}

Aubrey: {With much grief} It's not true. Tell me it's not true.

Kyle: {Regretfully} It's true.

Kath: You see! He admits it! Murderer!

{Lightning crashes behind Kath's head to punctuate the line.}

Kyle: No. It was an accident.

{Kath walks around and around Kyle as he accuses him.}

Kath: If it weren't for you, Eva would still be alive. It's your fault he's dead; do you deny it?

Kyle: No.

Kath: {Severely} Then... you're... guilty!

Kyle: No. I'm not a murderer.

Kath: Oh, Kyle, you're in trouble again. But this time,
Daddy isn't here to save you. And now EVERYONE.. KNOWS...
WHY!

{Kath has been backing Kyle up the length of Pride Rock.
After his last sentence, Kyle slips over the Bridge and is
clinging to the ledge by his forepaws. Lightning strikes
below, igniting a fire.}

Bryden: Kyle!

{Kath sits back and pretends to think.}

Kath: Now this looks familiar. Hmm. Where have I seen this before? Let me think. Hmmm... hmmm. Oh yes, I remember. This is just the way your father looked before he died.

{Kath grabs Kyle with his claws as he did Eva. He
whispers into Kyle's ear.}

And here's MY little secret: I killed Eva.

{Kyle has a quick memory flash back to that fateful
instant. His voice blends with his younger voice in the
scream of when his father died. In one giant leap he
lunges up and pins Kath on his back. Kath is caught completely
by surprise and is understandably very nervous and shaken.}

Kyle: NoooooOOOO! ...Murderer!

Kath: No, Kyle, please.

Kyle: Tell them the truth.

Kath: Truth? But truth is in the eye of the beholdllgkkk!

{Kyle starts to choke Kath.}

All right. All right. {quietly, venomously} I did it.

Kyle: So they can hear you.

Kath: {Grudgingly, but clear} I killed Eva!

{Bryden starts towards Kath, the hyenas attack Kyle in a
wall of teeth. The lionesses join in. We see Gafe and
Jaya come in. Gafe is charging with Jaya riding him.
Hyenas are flying everywhere. IT’S A FREE-FOR-ALL PEOPLE!}

Gafe: Heeeyyyy-yaaaaah!
Jaya: 'Scuse me. Pardon me. Comin' through. Hot stuff. Whoo!

{Bowling strike sound effect as hyenas fly. Travis whacks a
hyena off Kyle. Camera switch to him; with a battle scream,
he joins the fray. As a bit of comic relief, Travis is fighting
in kung-fu "B-movie" style, complete with cheesy sound effects.}

Travis: {As he hits various hyenas} WwwA! Hozah! Hazoww!
Yaa! Yah! hhyEEOOWww! I AM SO WASTED RIGHT NOW!! WOO-PAH!

{Camera switch to Jaya running from Gina. He runs into
the cave. Ace spots him. Jaya runs into his cage for
safety from the hyenas.}

Ace: Let me out! Let me out!

Jaya: Let me in! Let me in! {To the hyenas, pleading}
...Ple-he-hease don't eat me.

{Gafe appears at the cave's entrance.}

Gafe: Problem?

Alli: Hey, who's the pig?

Gafe: Are you talking to me?

Jaya: Uh oh. He called him a pig.

Gafe: Are you talking to me?!

Jaya: Shouldn't 'a done that.

Gafe: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?!?

Jaya: Now they're in for it.

Gafe: They CALL me... MIIISTER PIG! AAAAAHHH...

{Gafe charges and drives the hyenas off.}

Jaya: Take that! And that! {etc.}
Alli: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ...
Gafe: Take that! And that! {etc.} You yellow belly...
Ace: Take that, you stupid... {etc.}

{Back to Kyle chasing Kath up to the high point of
Pride Rock. Kath runs up to the Bridge and sees the sheer
drop. Kyle leaps up to confront him at the cliff-like
Bridge. Kath is very apprehensive, seeing he cornered and
at Kyle's mercy.}

Kyle: {Quietly, severely} Murderer.

Kath: Kyle, Kyle. Please. Please have mercy. I beg you.

Kyle: You don't deserve to live.

Kath: But, Kyle, I am... ah... {unsure of tactics} family.
It's the hyenas {regaining composure} who are the real enemy.
It was their fault-- it was their idea!

{Shenzi, Alli, and Bri are in the background. They
overhear and back away growling at Kath's betrayal.}

Kyle: Why should I believe you? Everything you ever told
me was a lie.

Kath: What are you going to do? You wouldn't kill your old
Uncle...? {ingratiating grin}

Kyle: No, Kath. I'm not like you.

Kath: {Greatly relieved} Oh, Kyle, thank you. You are truly
noble. I'll make it up to you, I promise. How can I, ah,
prove myself to you? Tell me; I mean, anything.

Kyle: {Gravely, with deep anger} Run. Run away, Kath. And
never return.

Kath: Yes. Of course. As you wish... {looking down and seeing
a pile of hot coals} ...your Majesty! {Kath swipes the coals
into Kyle's face. With a cry of surprise and pain, Kyle
paws the coals away as Kath leaps and attacks.}

There is a fight in slow motion. Both Kath and Kyle land heavy
blows. Kyle gets knocked on his back. Kath leaps through the
flames at him. Kyle gathers courage and uses Kath's momentum in a
"throw" similar to Bryden's fighting tactics to send him flying over the
Bridge. Kath tumbles to the bottom. He weakly gets up. He sees Alli,
Gina, and Bri approaching and smiles. Bri has a very angry look on his
face. Oh-ho-ho this is gonna be good…}

Kath: Ahh, my friends.

Gina: Frie-he-hends? I thought he said we were the enemy!

Alli: Yeah, that's what I heard.

Alli and Gina: Bri?

Bri: {Laughs evilly}

Kath: {Very nervous} No. L-L-L-Le-Le-Le-Le-Let me explain. No.
You don't understand. No! I didn't mean for... No, No!
Look, I m sorry I called you... No! NOO!

{The camera moves away and we can only see the shadows as
the horde of hyenas closes on and devours Kath. Rain opens
up and douses the fire. Kyle comes down and greets his
mother and Bryden. Travis motions for Kyle to ascend Pride
Rock as HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE. Kyle starts up and pauses to hug Travis as
his father did.}

Travis: It is time.

{Very majestically, he ascends through the rain. Music is strong.
Through a hole in the clouds we can see a patch of stars.}

Eva up in the clouds like a pedo: Remember . . .

{Kyle's expression gains confidence and strength. He roars.
The lionesses roar in reply. Time skip (don’t you love those?) to the savannah in
full bloom again.}

{Kyle, Jaya, Gafe, and Bryden are on Pride Rock. Ace flies
up to the point. Jaya, of course, is shaking his arms in the
classic victory sign. All the groups of herds are there and
making noise as in the presentation of Kyle.}

Full Chorus, with sparkly Elton john appearing out of nowhere:
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life

Circle of... Liiife


{Travis appears, holding some random lion cub. He lifts her to present
her to the crowd. Bass drum hit and black out to title in
red letting as in the beginning. The Circle is completed.}

Sora Lion: Um… did I miss something here?

[Bryden]

THE END

And gaiz? You're welcome. ^^

[PsychoKath]

-_- why the whole fuck was I Scar??? In what world could Kyle have beaten me?!?!?

[Bryden]

My world *grin*

I cast you as scar because it was perfect, (Can't you jsut see yourself surrounded by fangirls and saying the "I'm surruounded by idiots" line??) and Kyle asked if he could be simba, so I let him.

[Fallendire]

You cast me as Ed?

. . . this wounds me, Bry. This wounds me.

But I acknowledge that it's absofuckinlutely perfect. XDDDDD

[Shorik]

You make me a glorified Extra role... *sigh* 'Tis painful.