Flexibility

[Weremouse]

Sometimes, after the show, people ask me what it's like.
What are you thinking during your routine?
Doesn't your stomach churn?
How do you ever gain enough courage to do what you do?
What's it like before the show?
I answer as politely as I can. I'm really the wrong person to ask. I jump from high things and flip a couple times. Sometimes I dance. It's really no big deal. Nothing compared to what Kate does.

You'd think for someone who gets on a stage and does dangerous gymnastics for a living I'd be a lot more outgoing, but I'm just naturally pretty shy. My stage-face even betrays that sometimes. You see everyone else in their elaborate costumes smiling widely, adoring the spotlights and the cheers and being on tour, and then you see me, completely passive about what I'm doing, and sometimes even looking scared. For the first half of the show, I am scared.
Before I see her, that is.

Kate Carter is exactly what I dream to be someday. She's outgoing, comfortable in her skin, good at talking to people, and an amazing acrobat. In our show this year, she does this amazing routine with another acrobat, where they're both holding onto a silky rope, and they just climb over each other. At times its hard to tell where her body ends and his starts, there's so much trust and they're moving so quickly, sometimes she's holding him far away from the rope, sometimes he's holding her, half the time they're upside down, and then halfway through the show, they pull this amazing drop down the rope until they almost hit the ground, making everyone think they fell, only it was actually part of the act. It's really breathtaking and romantic. You'd think they were lovers behind the scenes, but I watch them and it's very clear she's indifferent about him.

I've actually noticed that she's indifferent about most of the men in her life. She's not sexist or anything, but if she's talking to a man you can tell she's a lot less engaged than if she's talking to a woman. Don't get me wrong, loads of men hit on her. She's a pretty sexy lady if I may say so myself. She's athletic but still very curvy and spherical in all the right places. She's tall, too, but not insanely so. She's a lot taller than me; I'd take a guess at 5'9 or so? I myself stand at a modest 5'3. Being young used to be my excuse for being short, but I'm 18 and pretty much full grown at this point. Sometimes Kate makes fun of me for looking like a little girl. It doesn’t really matter much in our line of work. They need some petite girls to get lifted by the heftier guys and jump off while flipping or something. I actually like the teasing sometimes, Kate talking to me is just amazing.

I turn to the mirror, shaking myself out of my daydream. Occasionally I space out, just thinking about everything that got me here. I’ve been on two other shows before, had to miss those years of high school and get schooled by the teachers the show hires whenever they have an acrobat under 18 in the show. I study the bags under my eyes, evidence of practicing late into the night, or staying up late socializing with the other people in the show and the crew. I grab concealer and try to help what the makeup artists already did, covering the dark circles. As I blend it, I realize it’s only helped a little. Ah well. I look at myself closely, trying to get used to the little grey ears popping out from my black and red hair. They had us all dye our hair bright red and then streaked over it with black, so from far away it looks like muted red but up close it’s violent and very cool. I’m wearing a grey singlet with black leggings under it, made so that movement is very easy, since I’ll have to be pretty flexible during my acts. Realizing that nothing can be done to positively change my makeup or hair, I back away from the mirror and go to talk to people until I’m on.

[Weremouse]

((EDIT: 400 POSTS! *mini dance party*))
I dance onto the stage in my mouse costume. The whole theme of the show is a Jack and the Beanstalk-like story, with small people running around this Giant’s house. There’s actually a really cool act involving a giant, moving boot and people swinging off it and flipping over it – but right now I have to focus. We’ve practised this a million times and I’ve even done it in front of an audience before, but it’s a complicated routine, especially when the acrobatics start. As the dance sequence ends, I run to the middle of the stage and wait for the parachute around me to be lifted up, launching me into the air. Several strong men surround me and pull hard on all the edges of the parachute. I only manage a somersault before I’m back on the parachute. This time, my weight helps it launch even higher, and I pull a couple flips. I’m launched once more, this time on my feet, and I soar straight into the air until I feel myself drop. I flip once and stop once my feet are directly over the parachute. I land standing properly and listen to the applause for a second before running backstage to climb on top of the massive dollhouse prop behind the stage. I wait one scene and other performers drag a catapult onto the stage. Suddenly I’m blind, the spotlight is on me and all I can see is the stage, the catapult, and all the acrobats waiting. I dive off the house, flip once, and slam onto the catapult where another acrobat is waiting to launch. He reaches the top of the house and immediately walks off the edge of the roof (unseen by the audience, there is a large amount of padding on the roof so those of us launching off the catapult will not hurt ourselves in landing). I have about one second to get to the other side of the catapult or the whole scene is ruined and the acrobat will be injured. I’m already halfway across, so I sprint to the end, and right on time, he lands and I launch up, flip, and land on the roof. I run off backstage to change for my next scene.

I run off behind the house and head for the dressing rooms when I hear a seductive “Hello, Ruth.” I turn instinctively despite being pressed on time. I end up faced with Kate Carter’s breasts. I look up, trying not to blush. She’s so close to me..! I think, giddy. I try to push away thoughts about exactly what part of her is so close to me and focus on what she’s saying.
“Ruth Hartley, you should watch where you’re going. You might just...bump into someone.” She says, and takes a step closer to me. I step back, no longer able to hide my blush.
“Hi-Kate-I’m-sorry-I-will-next-time-but-now-I-really-have-to-go-change-Bye!” I say much too quickly and sprint to the dressing rooms, my face almost matching what my hair looks like without the black streaks. I quickly pull on my next outfit, bright colors and rags. A stagehand helps me tie some red yarn into my hair, and dust on a new layer of makeup. Two minutes before my next scene starts, I’m back, right behind where the audience can see me (there’s no curtain but it’s incredibly dark in the tent). Once again, I hear the voice.
“Ruth, you ran off so quickly last time, I was certain I had scared you off.”
I try to stay calm and respond politely:
“Oh no, it’s just that I have to focus cause I have quick changes.”
“Yes, sometimes I forget everyone’s rushing to get changed. My outfit stays the same all the way through.”
Kate is actually one of the main characters in the show; however she’s not in any of the acts I’m in. The plot is always cleared for mindless acrobatics. I realize I still haven’t answered her, but suddenly I feel hands at my waist. I turn around to face her, but I can’t see her since it’s so dark. I guess some reflection was shining on my face, however, as she bends down to my eye level and I can see the light in her eyes, reflecting the spotlights and the stage. I blink for a second and realize her lips are on mine. My eyes open in shock. It would have felt like a lifetime if I wasn’t listening to the music, making sure I would go on at the right time. As I hear the 8 bars before I have to go on, I pull back. I realize my hands were in her soft black hair. I can’t think of anything to say, I’m so in shock, so I just turn and dance onstage.

[Weremouse]

The choreographers took advantage of my skill in ballet, and hired another girl who’s actually just a dancer to join me during this sequence. While all the other acrobats are doing their loose, hip-hop ragdoll dance, this girl and I are doing pirouettes and intricate movements around each other. A box with a puzzle-pattern drops in front of me, attached to a wire. I take off the box and throw it onto the dollhouse, and attach the wire to my back. Underneath my outfit there is actually a strong metal harness, and on my back there is a golden key to make me look like a wind-up doll. As soon as the wire is attached I feel myself lifted high into the air, on top of a small wooden block surrounded by a fence. I lean on the fence. In front of me, there’s a thick wire I’m expected to balance on. The other ballerina has been trained just for this balancing act, despite having no circus expertise. Below us, a large net waits in case we fall, and I hear my musical cue. I dance onto the wire quickly, while the girl on the other side dances towards me. She crouches in the most graceful manner possible, and I manage to pull a front flip over top of her and land on the wire. The momentum makes me lose the ballerina pretence and run to the other side. The crowd applauds loudly. I have a few bars to arrange myself so I can pull my next trick, and as I hear my cue I run onto the wire, and to a cartwheel, then a handspring, then a flip. I almost crash into the other girl because I hadn’t judged the distance properly. She gracefully dances across the wire, doing a couple pirouettes. We continue like this, going back and forth, showing off, until she ends up in front of me on my side of the wire. I nimbly jump on her shoulders and feel my wire tighten, not enough to lift me up, but enough to help her with the weight a little. She starts walking forward, and I see how far down the wire is, and then how far down the net is. I try not to think about how I could probably be decapitated by the wire or all the other wires in the area. As we reach the center, my wire gradually loosens. I backflip off of her and land on the wire. She wavers a little, trying to keep her balance. I see her wire tighten. I grab her hand and turn to the audience, trying to make it seem less like I’m steadying her and more like I’m about to bow. I just hold her hand there and we listen to the applause for the allotted time. We each run to our sides of the wire and climb down quickly, trying to get out of the way for the next scene.

We each take our spots on either end of the stage. This scene has about 10 of the backup characters that have distinctive costumes lined up while Kate’s character demonstrates that she can control almost everything that happens in the house. The line forms right on cue, and Kate dances on stage. The boot swings at her, looking like it’s going to hit her, but she pulls a perfectly choreographed turn and appears to hit it with her hand and it swings away. She goes to the other end of the line and dances around my twin ballerina, touching her shoulders. My partner does a couple quick, graceful moves, and Kate moves on. Down the line, each performer demonstrates what they do best, while the main character, the normal boy played by a clown, watches in awe. Kate smiles at him seductively as she quickly zigzags through the acrobats and dancers, until she reaches me. She’s supposed to touch me, and I do a spin and then backflip, but she seems to have a better idea. She touches me and I start my spin, but she catches and holds me at 180 degrees. With my back to the audience, she makes an obvious motion of licking my face while her hands grope their way up my stomach. To the beat, I hit her hands away and complete my routine. She keeps a stage face and continues the rest of the act. I run off stage as I’m supposed to.

A few minutes later I meet her by the dressing rooms. There are only a couple acts left before she goes onstage one last time, and then the whole cast goes onstage. She looks a little hurt and asks me:
“Why did you push my hands away?”
“We had to keep the show moving.” I reply, trying to hide whatever emotion I was sensing. I wasn’t really sure. Some sort of mix between lust and confusion, possibly with some guilt.
“You kissed me back. If you have feelings for me why not let me use my plan onstage? It was all planned out.”
“The show has to be put before whatever...we have going on.”
“You admit there’s something between us then?”
“Look, Kate...when you look at me, you see a little butch girl who’s not going to attract many men, right?”
“No! You’re really beau-“
“So you wouldn’t expect me to have a boyfriend, right?”
“That’s not why I-“
“And you don’t talk to me a lot about personal things, and you’ve never heard me mention anyone, so you assume it’s safe to just...pounce on me. Because it’s easy, and safe.”
“That’s not why I kissed you.”
“Then I guess it was the way you caught me staring at you. Because you’re beautiful, and amazing, and sexy, and you’re good at dealing with people, and you always turn down the men who hit on you, and your whole presence is just...powerful.”
“Powerful, huh? Ruth, that’s just confidence. I’m sure you could learn how to be confident, and you already have beautiful, amazing and sexy down perfectly.”
“Shit.”
“What?”
“I really, really like you.”
She leans down and kisses me again. This time my eyes are shut, just focusing on the touch of her lips, the feel of her tongue, my hands running down her back, tracing her hips and even briefly flickering across her ass. My breathing gets heavier, I try to push Joseph to the back of my mind. It feels wrong, but right. I wonder if I’m a lesbian or not, but then realize that the more I think about deep issues the less I’m focusing on kissing Kate Carter. Right now I’m the envy of way too many people to count. I think about how lucky I am and let go more into the kiss, until I hear a cough. I try to ignore it but then it sounds again, and finally it asks..
“Uhh, Kate? ..Ruth?”
I pull back from her, thinking there must be a good reason for someone to interrupt us. It’s one of the stage managers, Isobel.
“You’re on in 30 seconds, just thought I’d let you know. Get backstage.”
We hurry backstage. Kate goes on before me to tie up the plot. She heads onstage. I’m too busy wondering about everything to focus on what she’s doing. I’ve seen it a million times anyway. I hear my queue and dance onstage. I focus on my actions, the set choreography. Try to get my head out of the clouds and just focus on what I’m doing. It’s pretty difficult considering I just kissed the hottest female cast member and my fiancé is visiting in two weeks. The entire cast squishes to the front of the stage and Kate manages to find her way next to me, grabbing my hand for the bow. I barely process the loud applause, the whistling and screaming. All I’m thinking about is her hand in mine. It’s warm.